


between the sinners and the saints

by newheros



Series: who lives, who dies, who tells your story [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Mythology, Dating, Deities, Falling In Love, Fate & Destiny, Getting Together, Grim Reapers, M/M, Original Mythology, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-07-15 09:25:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16060223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newheros/pseuds/newheros
Summary: death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. it takes and it takes and it takes. being a grim reaper, renjun is well aware of that.so, when death asks him to take lee jeno's soul, the last thing he expects is to save his life instead.or, the one in which renjun never considered himself a killer until he needs to get the job done. somewhere along the way, he falls in love.





	1. part i

**Author's Note:**

> so, here am i again!!!
> 
> this started as a little something i began writing on saturday. now here it is. and i love every part of it so i hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you'll enjoy reading this. 
> 
> this has mentions of my original mythology which, if you've read "too close to the sun", you might be familiar with, except for minor changes. if you haven't, it's no biggie. you'll be just fine! 
> 
> title is from hamilton's wait for it. good song. good musical. i owe my life to lin-manuel miranda in ways you can't imagine. 
> 
> (also, this one goes out to tessie, ani and bel. you guys rock.)
> 
> (psa: unbeta-ed. sorry for the typos)
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/yourdietsoda/playlist/5irtj0PHe9YDqoss0z8ims?si=hrXXmv6rTRCNtjfyvk3pWg)

The night is cold, dark and full of stars, but there's no moon, not tonight. People around the world, he knows, look and think she's hiding behind the clouds, why, why, why?

Huang Renjun knows why, so he chuckles, leans against a cold brick wall with his hands inside the pockets of his jacket, and waits patiently like he always does. It's past midnight when he arrives, seven minutes on the dot, knocking him off his feet with an unabashed smile, the same as it has always been.

Somewhere along time, Renjun started thinking that he knew exactly why everything fell and will forever fall at Jaemin's feet. You don't look at him and see Death, not when he smiles as brightly like this, when his hands are soft like this, when he has flowers tucked in his hair ("They're gifts, Injun, you know I'm not one to refuse them!"). But Renjun knows, it all comes back to Jaemin for a reason – he's Death, he's the one common denominator in every living thing's existence, and tonight he's going to ask Renjun to do his job, and Renjun will gladly do it, because it all comes back to Jaemin.

"You'll bring me the soul of a twenty year old guy from Incheon. He likes taking long walks in the evening and has quite some bad eyesight, likes sweet things like you, Injunie," he says, the way you recite your grocery list. "He'll die tomorrow at 11:47, Johnny told me. Be there, will you? I'll send the info tomorrow morning,"

To which Renjun replies, no surprise, "I will." as he detaches himself from the brick wall and walks to the edge of the building top where they stand. Jaemin follows him up close, knocks his elbow with Renjun's like he's done many times before.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Death asks. Renjun nods, watching the city so alive in the night. "I never get tired of it. Life, that is,"

"Oh, I _bet_ you don't," he comments, cheekily, which earns him a scoff from Jaemin. He likes to tease, not being teased, that's why Renjun pushes his buttons like that. "Go on, talk about gifts or whatsoever. You know why you receive them, anyway,"

Jaemin shrugs, nonchalant, he has his hands inside the pockets of an obnoxious silver jacket, gaze on the city underneath them. He smacks his lips with a loud _pop!_ and says:

"That's how things are. He gives, and gives, and gives, and I take, and take, and take. I can never refuse it. I never could."

"I know," Renjun turns around while Jaemin still stands, and starts walking to the door. He never knows when the other leaves, has no idea what he does after they encounter, but it's not like he cares much about it. "I'll bring him to you, but don't be late."

Somewhere behind him, Jaemin whistles.

"Death is never late, baby. Everyone else is just too eager to meet me."

Renjun doesn't bother replying.

 

* * *

 

The thing about his job is that he has been doing it for so long that Renjun doesn't remember how things were before this, the moment in which he sits at a crowded café waiting for his designated soul to arrive, a little mesmerized by so much life surrounding him. _He'll take them too_ , he thinks, _when the time comes_. When Death is ready to welcome them, make them His, common denominator. All of them but Renjun, because he's the one to see people come and go, be born and die, be here and there.

He sighs a little, checks his phone again. 11:03. He should've gotten a picture of his soul by early morning, but you can't expect much from Jaemin.

The café's door rings when a young man opens it, bringing the cold air from outside with his flushed cheeks. Renjun is too busy scratching the table with a toothpick to notice him at first, but he does see it when the stranger knocks his knuckles against the wooden top of Renjun's table and then he's there, watching as the stranger sits on a table by the window.

See, Renjun knows that he's not obliged to have a corporeal form. He could be like some other Reapers he knows, who don't bother at all with being visible to the human eye, form not tangible and see-through. But he likes it, – and it must be the reminiscents of his original life talking but Renjun doesn't dwell on that –, likes living in their realm, drinking coffee, petting dogs on the head. He likes it, that's why he allows people to see him, to touch him – not that anyone does it, though –, to talk to him, to believe he's, too, a human.

So, he's a little bit amused, yes. Renjun doesn't stop scratching the table when he looks up to the stranger for a split second, only to notice he's being watched too. It makes him chuckle. He goes back to the toothpick.

"And here comes a strawberry shortcake for you!"

Renjun looks up to a smiling waiter, who pushes the plate in front of him with a satisfied smile. "I didn't order that," is what Renjun says, pointing at the caffe latte in front of him. "Just this."

The waiter – his name tag says "Felix", and he does look very happy to Renjun – smiles proudly at him, points at the stranger's table by the window. "Oh, that dude ordered it for you. He told me not to tell but you're too engrossed in ruining our table to notice him, aren't you?"

"I--" Renjun's eyes fly to the stranger, who has a pen and a notepad in hands and scribbles something on it, therefore doesn't catch him looking. Then he turns back at the waiter. "You talk too much."

Given the chance, Felix grabs the toothpick from his hands and puts it inside his pocket. Says "Enjoy the gift!" and promptly leaves, leaving Renjun alone with his treat.

Gift. He thinks of Jaemin's irritating remarks, but he knows he's a goner for sweets. The stranger is still not looking – Renjun doubts he will, doesn't really want him to –, so he picks up the tiny fork Felix left at the table and starts eating in silence.

When he's finished, not even ten minutes later, one of the chairs of his table is pulled back with a swift motion, barely making sound next to the background noise. Renjun is not amused when the stranger plops down in front of him, so he checks his phone one last time. 11:11. Still no sign of Jaemin.

"I'm Jeno," he says, and Renjun takes notice on the way white strands of hair fall on his face, how his fingers lace on top of the table. Jeno-something smiles like he's used with approaching random strangers at cafés. "I see you're not allergic to strawberries. I was afraid of that, to be honest."

"I'm not," he's not sure if he can even be allergic to something. "And it's Renjun. What are you doing?"

Jeno tilts his head as if it's obvious. "Talking to you."

11:13. Renjun decides that he's not too bad, so when Jeno asks him if he wants to take a walk, he says yes.

 

* * *

 

"I'm concerned you didn't think I could be a psycho, you know,"

Jeno's hands swing back and forth when he walks, he must have put the notepad from earlier inside an inner pocket of his jacket, and he wears a pair of black old school vans that remind him of Jaemin's obnoxious boyfriend. Renjun snorts – at him, at his thoughts. "I'm concerned you didn't think _I_ could be a psycho, you know,"

When the other laughs, Renjun almost feels guilty for the irony of his words. He's not a psycho, no, neither is he a killer, but he does have the power to send people to the other side. Renjun may not be big, he surely wouldn't outpower or outrun Jeno, but a single touch of his fingers and he would drop dead – well, not exactly. Renjun can't kill people. He'd have to _want_ them dead for that. He doesn't. He just collects them when time is right. But if he wanted, he could.

"I'm not afraid of you," Jeno tells him. "I saw you through the window and I thought-- I don't know,"

He furrows his brows. They walk past an elderly lady walking with her dog, and Renjun waves his fingers at the pet. "You don't know?"

This time, Jeno sends him a funny look. Then he smiles, and it reaches his eyes. Renjun thinks he smiles way too much. "I just wanted to talk to you, Renjun,"

Renjun doesn't have much experience with humans. All the ones he met yet, well, they're dead. What he does to them is wait for his queue, touch their foreheads, send them to the limbo between life and death, buy them a last meal – he doesn't need to do that, but Renjun likes it –, then lead them to Jaemin. They don't talk about anything that isn't related to death: wonder what is going to happen to their pets, sometimes tell Renjun their best memories of the past years, cry a little if frustrated, ask him about the afterlife, thank him for the food.

That's why he laughs a little when Jeno says it, because he can't imagine someone _alive_ talking to him about anything, can't imagine hanging out with a living, breathing thing when all he knows is death.

So, it becomes a dance. Jeno asks and he replies, Jeno pushes his buttons and he snaps back, he has his own questions ("Why do you go talk to random guys at cafés?"), he points at other dogs in the street, Jeno has three cats despite being allergic. Renjun talks until his jaw hurts.

It's been quite some time, he thinks, since the last time he really talked to a human being. A real conversation, you see. Not about death, about last meals, about wishes left unfulfilled. He thinks it's strange, of course – doesn't know why a guy like Lee Jeno, twenty years old, a dancer, would even bother with him –, but it's amusing in some way.

"And then Donghyuck, my best friend, he said--"

The thing is, Renjun sees the car while Jeno doesn't.

So his hand grabs the back of Jeno's jacket before he thinks, pulling him backwards, they knock against each other with the impact and Renjun thinks _what the actual fuck_ as they both stumble on the sidewalk.

"Woah," Jeno is out of breath, a hand pressed to his chest, and Renjun lets his jacket go like his hand is burning. "That was a close one. Thanks, man. I could've probably died,"

"Yeah," Renjun replies, and he's perplexed, trying not to look at Jeno like he's grown two heads. He's suddenly reminded of his job, the reason why he's here in the first place. "Watch it next time, that's all."

The chance is there when Jeno resumes the walk, talking about whatever. Renjun fishes his phone out of his pocket, clicking on the chat with Jaemin. 11:49. He curses under his breath and hopes that Jeno doesn't notice because he's missed it, he doesn't even know where his soul is, someone else might have collected them and Jaemin is never going to shut up about it, he'll send Renjun to get annoying souls like those of prepotent sub-celebrities or racist grandfathers and Jaemin _knows_ he hates getting them--

His phone flies straight out of his hand to the curb. Renjun doesn't have to check twice, because his eyes are fixed on Jeno, who's looking back at him.

"You alright?" he asks him, and Renjun nods.

It's him. It's his soul. The picture Jaemin sent him, the info he's gotten, it's him, standing in front of Renjun with a confused expression. Lee Jeno, 20, from Incheon, bad eyesight (he saw the contact lenses), likes taking walks--

Ah. He's screwed.

"Hey," Renjun says. He picks his phone and pockets it. "Do you wanna get something to eat?"

Jeno smiles. Of course he does. "I'm all in for a cheeseburger now!"

 

* * *

 

Renjun knows the protocol.

He’s seen stuff like this before – souls that don’t die the way they were supposed to, when they were supposed to. It’s rare, yes, mostly due to tiny misinformation from Johnny. The guy is busy, Renjun knows, because it can’t be easy being Fate. In cases like this, he just needs to send Jeno to Jaemin and it’s done, he’ll take care of him. Pissed off, obviously, but Jaemin doesn’t play around with work.

“You didn’t have to pay, you know,” Jeno says, and there’s this little bit of ketchup smeared on the corner of his mouth that makes Renjun want to throw himself in front of a bus. Incoming souls shouldn’t be that cute. “Let me pay you an ice cream after this!”

After this. _There’s nothing after this_ , Renjun thinks. He imagines Jeno waking up in Jaemin’s domain, where nothing is quite how it is here. He’s sure there isn’t ice cream in the Afterworld.

“Sure,” he lies, and when Renjun smiles a little, the other smiles too.

That’s what Renjun hates a little about some humans. It’s easier to take souls who aren’t like Jeno, who don’t promise him ice cream when Renjun buys them their last meal, who don’t have ketchup on the corner of their mouth. They shouldn’t even be talking in the first place, so when Jeno finishes his burger and fries and is absentmindedly sipping his soda, Renjun decides to get the job done.

It’s smooth, he’s seen humans doing this before, saw Jaemin doing it too. Renjun brushes the fringe out of Jeno’s forehead and it lasts for about a split second, his fingers touching the skin with a feather-light touch but he knows that it’s enough, knows that with a touch of death like this he’ll be waking up in the Afterworld in no time.

But then Jeno’s cheeks are flushed red, smile sweet, and Renjun is left wondering what could’ve gone wrong, why hasn’t he disappeared yet. Something is off for sure, his eyes scan the place searching for answers until he finally finds it sitting in a booth by the back.

 _Johnny_ _Seo_. What a tool. Renjun would kill him if it was possible for him to die.

“Hey,” Jeno says. “Do you wanna, maybe, go out with--”

Renjun is out of his seat in a second. “Stay right here, I’ll go talk to a friend for a minute,”

He doesn’t check to see if Jeno listens to him, but he hopes the latter doesn’t walk out while he’s not looking. Explaining why his designated soul got away would be a pain in the ass, – to be fair, explaining everything would be a pain in the ass –, so Renjun takes a seat in front of Johnny Seo and laces his fingers over the table. The background noise shuts down completely when he does. “Spill,” Renjun demands.

Johnny smiles. “I bet you’re a little confused, Injun,”

“You sure bet I am. Why can’t I send him? Is this one of your little tricks?”

At that, Johnny points with his chin at the pocket loom in his hands that never stop working. “Fate doesn’t lie nor does tricks, dear. I’m only a vessel, there’s nothing I can do about it,”

See, Renjun has thought for millennia that looking at Johnny is somewhat overwhelming. Of course it got better along time, but in essence, he’s always the same – loom and twine in hands, forever weaving destiny as he does and undoes the work like his existence depends on it, and it does –, but it’s still tiring to even look at his nonstop hands. Renjun watches as he works with notable agility for a couple seconds before looking up. “You’re so full of shit,”

Johnny’s mouth opens in a perfect "O", and then he’s giggling at the younger’s words. “Damn, Jaemin warned me about you. Listen, Injun, you can’t take the guy anymore. I saw it, you saved his life--”

“It was a mistake!”

“--Now his destiny has changed, take a look,” and he does, Renjun eyes suspiciously the way Johnny’s pocket loom changes, his fingers weaving a different pattern. “ _You_ changed it. Jeno is not dying today. In fact..."

"I _really_ don't care."

Renjun presses the bridge of his nose with his fingers, and Johnny giggles again. They both know Jaemin is going to hate this – he hates change, hates it when Johnny’s loom tell him things aren’t going to be the way he wants. Renjun is going to have to deal with it alone if he doesn’t want the world to end.

“Now, I tell you,” Johnny continues, and Renjun’s eyes roll to the back of his head because he knows what’s coming. “You met that guy for a reason, Injun,”

“I agree,”

“You do?”

“Yes. I met him because _you_ can’t let me do my job without poking your nose in it, can you, Johnny?”

The background noise is back, and Renjun watches, not amused, as Johnny grins one last time at him before disappearing in front of his eyes. There’s nothing he can do about it, Renjun knows, so he walks back to his booth in complete silence, somewhat in relief that Jeno hasn’t left.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says, sitting down. “It was just some friend I haven’t seen in a really long time, but he’s gone now.”

Jeno smiles at him like he didn’t leave. Renjun starts thinking this human has something off in his head. “No sweat. As I was saying, would you like to go out with me some other day?”

There it is. He surely has something off in his head. Renjun takes a peek at his phone, but there’s nothing in it besides a _we need to talk_ from Jaemin.

He’s so screwed. Renjun pockets his phone and says: “Sure,” because this is it, he can feel it in his ancient bones, this is the moment where his dull (not a) life as a Reaper turns upside down because of Lee Jeno.

 

* * *

 

It’s cold up the building top, especially after midnight, and Renjun subconsciously pats the pocket in which there’s a piece of paper with Jeno’s phone number scribbled on it because he’s been fidgeting a lot. It’s not the chill weather, no, Renjun stopped bothering with the cold long ago because there’s so much you can whine about how cold it is to hang out with the dead. It’s him, he knows it, he’s close, and Renjun has never been one to dread meeting with Jaemin until now.

“I never took you for the disobedient type, Huang Renjun.”

Death is a lot different now, he notices. Jaemin lives (does he?) for the drama, he sits cross-legged on the edge of the building with a blood red jacket draped on his shoulders – it's not his, Renjun knows it –, eyes dead (ha!) serious and when his fingers point at Renjun and crook, there's an unstoppable, terrific force pulling him in and Renjun thinks that _he's so lucky he can't die anymore_ , he's sure Jaemin would be willing to push him off the edge just for the thrill of it.

"Actually," Jaemin says when he's close enough, and he's standing now, towering over Renjun and yeah, he's lucky, very lucky he can't die anymore. "I did. I just didn't think you'd have the guts to disobey _me_."

"I am deeply sorry, Nana," he says, because it's the only thing he could say right now.

Jaemin smiles. He cups Renjun's face with a hand and his touch is colder than the night, as it has always been, and his thumb brushes the outline his lips as a warning. "I know you are. That's why you're going to redeem yourself, aren't you? Bring me the soul of Lee Jeno, will you?"

"I will. And I hope you can forgive me,"

When Jaemin lets go of him, the area where his finger touched Renjun's mouth is as cold as ice. He watches in silence, frozen in place, as Death adjusts the jacket on his shoulders, rests both hands on his own hips. "Ah," he says. "We'll see about that, Injunie. Now you go, as I'm terribly late myself,"

It clicks. Of course. Renjun almost lets out a sneaky comment, it's on the tip of his tongue, but Jaemin looks back at him with his terrible eyes and he shuts it.

"By the way," Death says, at last. "If you can't bring the soul, don't even bother coming back to me,"

 

* * *

 

unknown number (20:20)

we could go to the riverwalk

it's beautiful by this time of the year

 

런쥔 (20:23)

and this is… ?

 

unknown number (20:23)

oh it's lee jeno

 

contact name change: unknown number > jeno lee

 

jeno lee (20:23)

hiiiiii

 

런쥔 (20:24)

hello :-)

 

* * *

 

When he's not on duty, Renjun lives in a quiet neighborhood known for being home to other Reapers who, just like him, decided to stay in the human realm. Jaemin's power lets them go unnoticed, lets them stay while humans come and go without ever taking notice on how these strange people don't age, don't die, sometimes don't even eat.

Renjun doesn't have friends, you see, has never talked to the great majority of the other Reapers who live close by. Except for one – his loud, awful neighbor, who surely forgets is not a human because he's sure as hell acts like one. Walls are thin where he lives, he knows exactly the moment in which Yukhei comes home from work and the other way around too, that's why Renjun moves inside his apartment with the suavity of a soul (ha!), hopes that Yukhei doesn't notice him.

He does. Of course he does. He's banging on Renjun's door in the next five minutes and the latter doesn't have it in his heart to send him away, so he welcomes him either way.

"How's it going, little Huang?" Yukhei asks him once he's settled in Renjun's couch, a beer in his hand and Renjun knows he's going to spill it sometime soon, so he throws a dishcloth in Yukhei's direction and hopes he gets the message.

"Going. Jaemin is pissed at me because I fucked up good time."

The other whistles. "What! No way!"

The two of them have known each other for quite some time now. Yukhei became a Reaper much later than him – he swears he can remember his past life, but Renjun doesn't believe it because Jaemin never lets anyone remember their past lives, he says it's too painful –, but he's just as skilled, receives missions almost every day. He chose the apartment next door because he's decided on spending his afterlife with Renjun by his side.

He's a sap, as you might have noticed.

"I saved a life today," Renjun tells him, sitting on the couch as well. Yukhei immediately drapes a leg over his lap and he knows it's useless to push him off. "My soul's. I prevented him from dying by accident. And then he asked me on a date. And if Jaemin could kill me, he would do it. Like, five times."

"In five different ways!" Yukhei chimes in. He looks too excited about it, Renjun figures he must have been drinking before coming home. "Damn it, little Huang, I wonder why nothing interesting like that happens when I work!"

It's a joke. Yukhei is one of the concise, cold-blooded ones. He goes, flicks his souls in the forehead before they even realize what's happening and that's it, they're dead and off to Jaemin forever. He doesn't have a little ritual like Renjun, maybe that's why he's sent to deal with the most traumatic cases per se.

Car crashes and other accidents, murders, death by shock. The quick, terrible things. He likes to put souls at ease without dragging it, differently from the way he had died himself. At least that's what Renjun has heard.

Yukhei pokes his friend's side with a long finger, and the younger (is he still younger than him? They discuss a lot about it, whether it's the age before or after death that counts) flinches with a whine. "Tell me you're going to the date,"

"Of course I am," Renjun replies. "I'm going to send him to Jaemin. He'll be dead in no time when I get to him,"

Yukhei giggles, takes a sip of his beer and then sets it on the coffee table. He retrieves the leg from Renjun's lap and instead drapes an arm around him instead. Renjun _shrieks_ , hates the way Yukhei smells after work. "You know, Jaemin wouldn't ever know if you got some smooches before killing the guy."

"I'm not killing him-- we're not killers, Yukhei," he pauses. "And I'm not kissing him either, stop looking at me like that. You're insufferable."

"And you love me!"

"That's debatable. Now, go shower, you stink of death."

After Yukhei leaves, Renjun tries not to think about how he stinks of death too. Everything around him does, actually. Later on, when Jeno messages him about their date (Renjun can't believe he's doing this), he wonders if he'll be able to smell it on him, what Renjun is going to do to him.

 

* * *

 

First things first, he takes Yukhei's car.

Renjun doesn't trust public transportation. It's always full of souls, he always runs into other Grim Reapers and he doesn't want anyone bothering him, not today. Today he's as human as he gets, driving through the city until he reaches the place where Jeno lives.

He's good with addresses. Renjun takes pride in that, but he figures it must be because of his function – Grim Reapers can be anywhere, anytime, they just have to wish for it –, so he knows exactly where the human lives. He must've taken a soul or two there before, but it's not like Renjun keeps a list.

"Hi!" is what Jeno says when he plops down on the passenger seat. _He's bright_ , Renjun thinks, _just like his hair._ Then, he realizes it's dyed, because Jeno had pushed the fringe off his face and he can see the black roots now, not having noticed them the other day.

"Hello," is what he replies. "You're not a real blonde,"

As he plugs his phone on the aux cord, Jeno giggles and shakes his head. "No, I'm not. My best friend, Donghyuck, has a knack for this kind of thing. Hair dye, makeup, you know. I'm his lab rat."

Renjun nods. The speakers now fill Yukhei's car with a soft melody, and while Jeno hums quietly to it, he drives to the place the other suggested the last time they talked through text. Renjun knows where it is, but he plays dumb so that Jeno keeps pointing the directions.

It's a quick drive, really, and before he knows, the car is parked near their city's riverwalk and they're walking side by side under the sun. Renjun likes it when the city is like this – basking itself in the sun on a cloudless day, but with the weather chill enough for a jacket to be needed –, so he revels in the feeling contently.

"You're not much of a talker, are you?" Jeno says at some point, ice cream cone in hand. He points it to Renjun, because they're sharing. It was Jeno's idea. "I feel like I'm bothering you with my talking,"

That's the first thing he learns about Lee Jeno: for a human born in the 21st century – with all the incessant information, ever-improving technology, the lack of real commitment due to less and less attention to detail –, he's quite observing. The second thing Renjun learns about Lee Jeno is: he's also terribly honest. That's why Renjun shrugs, takes the ice cream from his hands and says:

"I don't mind your talking. I like it,"

Jeno nods, at first nonchalant, but Renjun notices the faint tint of his cheeks when he conveniently ducks his head for a moment.

That's the third thing he learns about Lee Jeno: his cheeks paint themselves a violent pink easily. Renjun stores the information for later (and if Yukhei teases him about it when he comes home to talk about his date, he doesn't really mind).

They continue walking for some time, taking a look at the stores by the riverwalk and endlessly trying to choose a café to make a break – Renjun prefers the calmer, simpler one that is hidden behind a blossoming tree, but Jeno insists in continuing to look _because you never know what's around the corner, Renjun_ –, so by the time the sun starts to set, they're still walking side by side near the water.

Renjun doesn't exactly know how dates work. He's sure he must have dated people in his original life, but the thought is too far away for him to remember anything about it. So he keeps up with Jeno's chatting, tries to copy whatever he's doing because he clearly knows more about it than Renjun – it's in the way he holds his gaze in Renjun for longer than the necessary, how his touch had lingered when he held on to Renjun's arm when he stumbled at some point –, and when Renjun thinks about it, it's not exactly hard. He gets it, gets why people do this, why humans want to be with other humans like this.

Maybe it's why, when they're sitting inside a coffee shop – Jeno has finally made up his mind, chose the one with the beautiful forged iron tables near the river –, Renjun hesitates when he motions to touch Jeno's forehead again. He can hear Jaemin's words somewhere in his brain but Jeno is so concentrated in the menu, not knowing if he should get an iced coffee or a lemonade, he just--

He can't do it. Not now. So Renjun retreats his hand before Jeno notices it, places it on top of the table like it has always been there, and when Jeno looks up at him and asks if he'd like a lemonade too, he says yes.

Death can wait. He's heard it too many times already: what Jaemin doesn't see, Jaemin doesn't know.

 

* * *

 

"This is the place where I dance," Jeno says, weeks later, as they walk in front of a nice-looking building.

It's late, past midnight, seven minutes on the dot, and Renjun's hands are colder than usual inside the pockets of his coat, and he looks up to see the moon hanging peacefully in the sky. Then he looks at Jeno, at where he's pointing, and tilts his head a little.

"Can I see you dancing, some other day?" he asks, and there's a voice that sounds an awful lot like Yukhei's on the back of his mind that tells him _you're a goner, Huang Renjun, you really are_. He tells it to shut up, and Jeno smiles brightly at him. This is the fourth thing Renjun learns about him: he smiles as easily as he breathes. Full of life.

"Yeah, you can."

 

* * *

 

The fifth thing he learns about Lee Jeno is that his best friend is a nightmare.

Renjun has met Nightmares before. Plenty of them. Jaemin keeps them as his pets in the woods near his palace in the Afterworld – not that he spends a lot of time there, but he needs to visit from time to time otherwise the souls get lonely –, those enormous, terrific things. Renjun doesn't know exactly what they are, what their real appearance is, but they're the aftermaths of everything bad that has happened to the souls.

Jaemin has this thing, he rips all the bad and the dirty from them until all that is left are the good memories. He believes that the souls deserve to rest once they get to him. So their Nightmares are kept in the woods, and sometimes, when Renjun visits, he spends hours in Jaemin's living room waiting for him to come back. He likes being with the Nightmares. Renjun thinks he's a freak, but he never said anything.

But this, he thinks, when Jeno's friend bounces excitedly as they wait for the gates to open, is an entirely different nightmare. When Donghyuck smiles, that's made of something that has the hairs at the back of Renjun's neck standing up. He can't put his finger on it until hours later, when Jeno goes to get them food before the concert starts, and Donghyuck looks at him with his big eyes and asks:

"You're not human, aren't you?"

Renjun doesn't let himself react. He tucks his phone inside Jeno's bag and peeks into Donghyuck's soul a little. He can do that on good days. It makes Donghyuck shiver inside his jacket, but he smiles brightly when Renjun is done.

"You're a Seer," he says instead of replying, and he can pinpoint the exact moment Donghyuck's heart skips a beat. "You see the dead. You know about their souls."

No one is paying attention to them anyways, but Renjun tilts his head slightly to make the background noise go away. He lets them enter the limbo just a little, not enough for Donghyuck to feel dizzy, and the latter sits a little closer, leans into his space to tell him: "I thought I was going crazy. No one's ever believed in me before,"

Renjun wonders how years he has spent seeing things he couldn't explain, how many times the dead have haunted Donghyuck's dreams at night. He sees it in his dark chocolate eyes, all the things Donghyuck has never said before.

"I do," he tells him. "I trust you. But you have to trust me too,"

When Donghyuck smiles, it's made of something Renjun has seen before, he just didn't expect to found it here. He looks like a nightmare because he's seen worse, because he's seen it _all_. It's not easy peeking into the Afterworld without losing that twinkle in his eyes.

He offers Renjun a hand, and the latter bumps their fists together. "It's a deal," Donghyuck settles. "It's nice meeting you, Renjun,"

When Jeno comes back, food and drinks in hands, Renjun drops them back at the human realm and chuckles at the way Donghyuck's face pales. "You'll get better with the food," he says, and Jeno agrees without really knowing what's going on, he's just happy his friends are getting along.

 

* * *

 

lee jeno (00:07)

thanks for going w/ us to the concert!!!

are u home yet?

 

런쥔 (00:07)

i am

it was really fun

thanks for inviting me :-)

 

lee jeno (00:08)

it was my pleasure

 

contact name change: renjun > injun

 

lee jeno (00:09)

gnight injun <3

 

런쥔 (00:11)

good night, jeno

!

 

* * *

 

Approximately three months and three weeks after the day he was supposed to die, Jeno tries to kiss him.

Renjun doesn’t know what to do. He’s kissed before, kind of – by the way, he hopes Yukhei remembers about it fondly, the way Renjun pushed him off the couch and onto the coffee table because nope, not doing it with his best friend, thank you –, but he doesn’t want this to happen now, as they’re leaving Jeno’s Economy lecture, when Jeno’s arm is draped across shoulders and it feels too right, just right, so Renjun’s not having it.

He dodges it in the last second, Jeno’s lips press awkwardly on his temple, near his hairline, and Renjun hates the way his surprised “Oh!” makes something twirl inside of him. Renjun isn’t even sure if his body was supposed to react like this.

They don’t talk about it. Not even so-honest, ever-talking Jeno wants to talk about it. Perhaps it’s better like this.

But Renjun feels horribly guilty. He slides his hand inside Jeno’s and refrains from looking at him for the rest of the walk.

 

* * *

 

Renjun stops receiving souls to collect.

He's sure of it after nights come and go and he doesn't feel Jaemin calling to him. It scares him, how is he going to exist in this world if he's not doing what he was born (gone? made? forced?) to do, so he spends a week or two sleeping at Yukhei's place, makes himself remember what it is like being around death.

Yukhei is sorry for him, as most of the Reapers close to them are. So he brings Renjun with him sometimes, when he knows things aren't as ugly as they usually are, lets Renjun bring his souls a little bit of happiness before they're gone for good. And when they're home with nothing else to do, he encourages Renjun to go out, meet Jeno, be with the living. It's not fair of Jaemin to keep him locked inside himself like this.

"Hey," Renjun says, head resting on Yukhei's shoulder as they watch Buzzfeed Unsolved. It's quality comedy time with a lot of takeout. "I know I don't say this kind of thing a lot, and I'm never going to repeat it, but you're my best friend."

Yukhei coos, which earns him a slap. He doesn't bother with it.

"You're my best friend too, little Huang. Us until the end, if there's one."

"Us until the end, if there's one. Go make some more popcorn now, please."

"On it!"

 

* * *

 

lee jeno (14:19)

was going to class today

saw these twigs

 

런쥔 (14:21)

and what about them

 

lee jeno (14:22)

they formed a heart

like s2

 

런쥔 (14:23)

made you soft?

 

lee jeno (14:23)

made me think of u

 

* * *

 

Renjun is sitting with his back pressed against a white wall, holding his knees close to the chest, when he notices that the sixth thing he learns about Lee Jeno is that he reminds him of something ancient and familiar, like the aftermath of what was once so dear to him.

He doesn't know what it is. He's felt it a few times before, these specifics moments in which being with Jeno makes him feel a little closer to what was it like being human, but they're always gone before Renjun notices.

Right now, the feeling is back and Renjun is partially scared and partially excited because it seems like it's not going away anytime soon. So he presses his back against the wall and watches as Jeno turns on the speakers of his practice room. Then he's standing in the middle of the room, and this is the part Renjun loves:  

When Jeno dances, it's like everything else in his life has lead to this. He starts a little shy because it's Renjun sitting right there, – it took him some time to convince Jeno to do something like this –, but soon enough he starts moving with more confidence. It's constant, something Renjun feels it in his chest, a force that pushes and pulls as he pleases because Jeno knows his body more than anything, works that energy through his muscles and there's no way this isn't magic, how Jeno is able to remake the world like that as he moves.

 _He's everything_ , is what Renjun thinks. And he hides that feeling deep, deep in his guts because he's never thought that the world could spin around anything that isn't Death, but here they are.

"Now, come with me," Jeno says at some point, when Renjun thinks he's done enchanting him, and the latter stares at him confusedly before Jeno smiles brightly at him, holding his hand out. "Dance with me, Injun!"

"I've never done this before." is what Renjun replies, but deep inside he knows he has, that's why he takes Jeno's hand and gets up from the floor.

It's not easy. It never is. But right now he'd follow Jeno everywhere, trusts the way he points here and there, feather-light touches that have him going before he notices. They dance. Jeno builds him a whole story with it, makes Renjun lose and find himself a billion times before they're both panting on the floor, grabbing water bottles tightly, pleased with the outcome of their personal reverie.

He drives Jeno home with Yukhei's car and kisses his hands before going home himself. Under the moon, he then wonders how much time Jaemin had spent tearing that passion down when he died, and if they were talking to each other, Renjun would thank him for it. He understands now why it is so important for Reapers to be detached from their former selves.

Jeno taught him to dance again.

And he's never felt more human.

It's terrifying.

 

* * *

 

For the following three weeks, Renjun wakes up every day thinking that _this is going to be the day Jeno dies_ , he swears on it, tells it to Yukhei over breakfast and ignores the way the other's shoulders shake when he laughs because it is, it is, it is.

He's tried it before. He really did. He has motioned to touch Jeno's forehead so many times already that the other started asking if his hair is too disheveled, just a minute and he'll fix it. And then Renjun is left thinking that he hates being a Reaper, hates what he's going to do with Jeno because of Jaemin's antics, why does he have to die, why does it have to be him? Every time the question pops he tucks his hand deeper in the pocket of his coat, closes it in a fist so tight that his knuckles hurt. He knows nothing would happen if he did it, but he's grown scared of the touch.

Therefore he's walking through the doors of an old, old building, so far from where he lives that it took him nearly two hours to get there. Renjun doesn't mind the time – you can't mind time when you've lived (lived? endured? lasted?) for so long –, but he minds the way his phone vibrates when Jeno sends him texts wondering if he's home yet, if he has eaten, if he happens to like cats.

The wooden door makes a strange sound when Renjun knocks on it. He's suddenly inside the apartment, standing over a rug so old and beautiful that it should belong in a museum, but when he thinks of it, Johnny Seo's whole existence is some sort of museum. Said man smiles at him from behind the kitchen isle, he stirs two mugs of tea not with a motion of his fingers.

"How are you doing, Injun?" he asks, and Renjun drags his feet to the kitchen, takes a seat in one of the tall stools and motions for one of the mugs. "Tough day?"

"Jaemin hasn't assigned me any souls," he says, and the name of Death is heavy on his tongue, he hasn't said it in a really long time. "Do you think I deserve the cold-shoulder treatment?"

Johnny shakes his head. He takes a seat too, and Renjun eyes the way his hands are free, so odd, but he knows there's a gigantic loom somewhere behind him in the living room. Destiny never stops making itself, is what he's heard. "Absolute not," Fate replies, taking a sip of his tea. "He's just being stubborn. He'll get it over soon.."

"I think it's childishness,"

"I think it's pride. You know how he is."

Renjun chuckles this time. "I do," and then he rests the mug on the countertop. "I can't do it, Johnny. I can't take him. I can _never_ take him, I'd rather die myself."

There's something about Fate that you should know. He knows everything, aware of the course of humanity before it even existed, bends itself according to other heavy constants such as Love (especially Him) and War, but never breaks, not even when Death is involved. And when all Renjun knows is death, death, death, he has a hard time remembering not everything bends to Jaemin as he does.

That's why he's not surprised when Johnny smiles – all warm and understanding – and takes Renjun's hands in his calloused, old ones. "Don't let Jaemin get to your head, Injun. You were never supposed to take him, anyways, and Jaemin will snap out of it. For the meantime, be with him--"

"Johnny..."

"-- _if_ you want. There's no shame in wanting things, see, a friend of mine told me that."

When Renjun comes home and leaves his sneakers on the door – Jeno gave them to him, and they're yellow, like another memory of something good that Renjun can't quite put his finger on if he tried, lost in the locked trunk of his original life he's not supposed to take a look at –, he holds his phone between cold fingers for a while before unlocking it and sending a message to Jeno. Yes, he's home, he was with a friend. Yes, he's eaten. Yes, he'd like to go to one of Jeno's boring college parties, he'll even bring booze, he'll even give him a ride.

 _It's a date_ , Jeno says. _That's a lame ass date_ , Renjun replies.

Neither of them cares about lame dates anymore. There's no shame in wanting things.

 

* * *

 

It's a crowded room with dim party lights that paint Jeno's face purple, green and red from time to time, and every time they flicker there is this half a second in which Renjun thinks he wants to kiss him.

He doesn't. His grip on the cup someone pushed into his hand earlier tightens, – he's never been to a human party before. There are some Grim Reapers, mostly Yukhei's friends, that like to throw a party here and then, but it's never quite like this. Human parties are full of life and Renjun feels a little overwhelmed with it, presses himself to a corner in the wall and brings Jeno with him.

The other's hands find his waist instantly – and Renjun thinks that he doesn't mind it, couldn't flinch away if he tried –, as they belong there. Maybe they do.

"I'm sorry that I'm no fun," Renjun tells him. He doesn't have to scream it over the music anymore, because Jeno is closer now, leaning in until Renjun can talk quietly in his ear.

"Don't say things like that," he replies. But then adds: "Besides, I'm no fun too. We can be no fun together if you want."

Every cell of his body knows that Jeno isn't talking about parties anymore. Renjun presses a hand against his chest, not to push him away, just to rest it there, against his heart. He's alive. Of course he is. This isn't the day Jeno dies. Tomorrow isn't either. Renjun would know.

"I'd like that," he tells him, hand sliding up to rest on the back of his head, fingers gracing the fine hairs of his neck.

When Jeno’s hands pull him impossibly closer, Renjun’s drink flies out of his hand and straight to his shoes. He doesn’t mind it. It’s shy at first, a trying peck on the corner of his mouth because neither of them knows where all of this places them next, because Renjun has been trying so hard not to fall for him, because he’s scared of becoming a fool. See, Renjun tries hard not to be a fool most days, but he can allow himself to be one this time. So he places his arms around Jeno’s neck and thinks that _this is where he belongs_ , then kisses him square on the mouth.

The party lights are flickering like crazy – his energy does that sometimes, and Renjun’s head spins because it’s all for Jeno, it’s always going to be all for Jeno – and his lips are soft and welcoming, he tastes a little bitter from the beer but Renjun drowns in it anyway. He wouldn't have his first kiss (with a human) any other way.

It’s a dance, really, it couldn’t be any different. When Jeno cages him against the wall, hands on his hips, and presses his lips against Renjun’s again and again and again, this couldn’t be different from that time they danced together in Jeno’s practice room. Jeno kisses him like he dances, precise yet carefree, like he’s lost and found in Renjun’s lips.

The world tilts upside down. He doesn’t care if Jeno’s friends from college are seeing this, if he can hear Donghyuck shrieking loudly in the distance, if he’s ruined his shoes.

There's no shame in wanting things.

 

* * *

 

“So, you like him,”

“Xuxi, eyes on the road.”

Yukhei rolls his eyes, and Renjun hits him on the arm without thinking twice. “Ouch! We’re not going to die if the car crashes, little Huang. We’re already dead, in case you’ve forgotten.”

After half a minute of silence, his eyes twinkle in a way that makes Renjun consider jumping out of the window and onto the road. Yukhei sticks his tongue out at him. “You did forget about it, didn’t you? Because Jeno makes you feel so alive--”

Renjun grabs the steering wheel and pulls it to the right, hard.

By the time Yukhei is done laughing and he lets them be corporeal again, he needs to take a minute or two to breathe properly. For a moment Renjun thinks that he _understands_ Jaemin that one time he fucked up – the gigantic fuck up that had led him to this, to all of this, – and he wishes that Yukhei could get killed instead of reveling in the way Renjun threw them off road. His powers are much stronger than Renjun’s now, because he hasn't been using his, so he managed to bring the _car_ into Jaemin’s realm in a flick of time, so they just passed right through an entire house like it was nothing until reaching another empty street.

“You’re crazy, little Huang,” is what Yukhei says, the ghost of a laugh still in his lips as he returns to their track. “I’d be pretty upset if you trashed my car,”

Renjun crosses his arms, leaning against the cold window. Too much for a ride to the convenience store in search of his favorite instant ramen. “I’m going to trash it when you least expect it.”

Yukhei’s hand pet his knee gently. Six months ago Renjun would slap him for it. Right now, he doesn’t. “Congrats, by the way. That Jeno of yours is a really nice guy.”

Good thing the lights outside the car are too dim, bur Renjun still ducks his head down to hide his reddening cheeks. “Thanks, Xuxi.”

 

* * *

 

nana (00:07)

if you set foot in my domain

ever again

without being invited

i'm going to flip your world upside down

 

my hell on earth (00:07)

you already did, love

or have you forgotten?

 

nana is typing...

 

* * *

 

The seventh thing he learns about Lee Jeno is that he’s in love with Huang Renjun.

He doesn’t need to make assumptions, doesn’t have to double check it, because Jeno spells it out for him one night after a movie in Renjun’s place.

“I like you,” says his muffled voice as Jeno’s face is pressed to his tummy, making Renjun squirm under him. Then he looks up, resting his chin there, looking at Renjun with determination. “I don’t care if you don’t like me back. Yet, or I don’t know. Just felt like saying it.”

Renjun doesn’t know what to say, not when Jeno’s eyes are so sweet and caring like that, so he raises a hand to touch his forehead. He does it a lot often now, as if to make fun of it all – he’s not a killer, has never been one, couldn’t kill Jeno even if the whole world depended on it. It’s not a touch of death anymore. It’s just him saying _I know_ , it’s just him saying _I hope you know I’m not holding it back anymore, I don’t want to take you anymore._

“You have to dye your hair again,” he says instead. “Black would suit you.”

“I’ll dye it back if you dye yours blonde,”

A pause. And then, “Alright.”

Jeno smiles. When Renjun touches his forehead again, he leans into the touch like he’s saying _he knows._

 

* * *

 

Jaemin paces around his room restlessly.

He’s late. Of course he is. Jaemin should’ve known better, should’ve chosen to stay home, should’ve chosen to keep watching that mundane show he’s taken a liking in recently. He shoots a look at the jacket draped across the chair in the corner, faux leather because _of course_ it would be faux leather, and thinks about throwing it out of the window before he senses it coming.

Jaemin always knows when he’s around. It’s like he has some sort of compass in his heart, feels that infuriating pull towards him every time he’s around.

It’s disgusting. He loves every part of it. That’s why Jaemin grabs the jacket and storms out of the room, out of his house, out of himself.

He doesn’t necessarily need to have a house. Hell, he doesn’t even need to be corporeal, but Jaemin loves living in the city, loves giving himself beautiful hair colors, loves going shopping on the weekends because even Death needs a break from work sometimes, a break from the Afterworld where it's only him, the souls and their Nightmares.

And besides all of that, he loves this sight:

Life, leaning over his motorbike on Jaemin’s curb, grinning in a way that makes his blood boil. Life, stupidly beautiful, looking at him with big, ever-curious eyes. Jaemin stands still in front of his unlocked door for half a second but it feels like forever – he doesn’t know time, doesn’t bend to it when _they’re_ like this, for time is nothing when it comes to _both of them_ –, because what a sight it is, honestly, to see Life looking back at him like this.

And Death hates him. Every single part of him.

Not because they’re polar opposites, no, Jaemin believes that everything must come back to balance, knows that he wouldn’t exist if the other didn’t – but he hates him like this, smiling like he knows something Jaemin doesn’t, and he probably does, because he’s made of something Jaemin has never known, will never know too. It’s what infuriates him the most.

“Leave me alone,” Death demands.

Life shakes his head. “I could never. Come on, love, we’re going to be late.”

And because Jaemin is stupid, or maybe in love, he locks his door and throws the jacket to him. It fits him perfectly, hugs his shoulders just right and Jaemin hates him. And because Jaemin is stupid, or maybe in love, he swings a leg over the seat – his hands find the other’s impossibly tiny waist instantly, finger gripping the leather, the feeling so annoyingly familiar to him.

“I hate it when you call me that,” he says, but it’s a lie. Of course it is. They both know it.

“Sure you do, love,” Mark replies, then leans back for a moment to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. And because Jaemin is stupid, or maybe in love, he lets him.

(And if, when Mark hits the pedal and takes off, Jaemin digs his chin right where his shoulder meets the neck with so familiarity you could say he’s done it a billion times before, and revels in his scent – warm and welcoming, full of life –, that’s no one’s problem but his.)

“Now tell me,” says Mark over dinner, as he twirls spaghetti with a fork in the way that Jaemin could never, he’s given up learning. “What’s up your butt today?”

“If the night ends well, preferably, you.”

Mark drops the fork on his plate, and Jaemin laughs, content, as he presses a hand to his face in embarrassment. “That’s not what I meant and you know it, Nana.”

“Don’t worry, it can be the other way around!”

“ _Jaemin_.”

This time, it’s him who places the fork on the plate, his hand sneaking instantly into the other’s. Jaemin hates the way everything about Mark pulls him in, not even his body is his anymore, but this time he lets it slide. “Injunie is in _love_ , Mark. He’s in love with a soul he was supposed to bring me, a soul _you_ sent me.”

“Uh,” Mark replies, eloquently, and Jaemin digs his nails into his palm just for the sake of it. “Ouch, Nana-- listen, I’ve heard about it. Johnny told me, in fact. You’re not supposed to be upset about this kind of thing, love.”

“It was a _gift_ ,” Jaemin protests. He lets go of Mark’s hand and leans back on his chair. “How can he-- how can anyone change the course of it like that? How can Johnny do that to you?”

There’s a deliciously amused expression on Mark’s face, and Jaemin would bask on it if he wasn’t so annoyed. Then Life laughs at him because he’s like that, and Death lets him because he loves him, of course he does.

“Nana, even I can’t stop Fate from doing its thing,” he starts, reaches for Jaemin’s hand again, holds it tight in his. “You know it’s not Johnny’s fault. It isn’t Renjun’s either. I send souls to you every day, don’t be upset if one’s taking a little bit longer to arrive.”

When Jaemin sulks in silence, bottom lip jutting out, Mark knocks his knee against his under the table. “Not everything is the way you want it to be, love. That’s greedy. You’re not the only piece on the board.”

Deep inside, Jaemin knows it, knows that for there to be balance they all must learn to play along, all the constants between his and Mark’s realms being equally important in this gigantic chess game called existence.

But Death is like that, has always been like that, with this everlasting crave in the pit of Jaemin’s stomach that he can never, ever get rid of. He sighs, knocks his knees back against Mark’s, takes his hands to his lips and presses a feather-light kiss to his knuckles. It makes the other blush. Of course it does. Jaemin does it again and then Mark shies away from his touch, looks down on his plate. Of course he does.

Hours later, Mark drops him home in the dead of night, takes Jaemin to the door and adjusts the jacket draped around his shoulders – Jaemin stole it from him again at some point, knows he doesn’t mind. When he’s about to leave, Jaemin keeps hold of his hand and tugs him in, basking in the warmth of Mark’s skin when he twists him around, presses him against the door of his home.

“I know I’m not the only piece on the board,” he says, quietly, cupping Mark's cheek with one hand, and then smiles with a dose of tease when Mark leans against his touch. “But I’m the deadliest.”

He chuckles. “Of course you are. You’re Queen.”

At that, Jaemin nods before ducking his head down – his corporeal form has grown a little taller over time, he takes advantage of that –, then noses at Mark’s jaw lazily, peppers his skin with kisses that make his breath hitch. “If I'm Queen, you're King, I presume?”

When Mark’s fingers find their way around the belt loops of his jeans, everything else is white noise. Like it has always been, time after time, millennia after millennia. Jaemin kisses him before he can smile cheekily, but Mark does it against his mouth either way.

“You bet I am.”

The door unlocks itself when Mark tilts his head, the perks of being Life itself, and Jaemin revels in the opportunity to press his mouth against the vein on his neck, pulsing and alive. "You're my hell on Earth," he mutters against the skin, warm and warm and warm.

"I know. I love it."

This is balance. Life is King and Death is Queen, they're Sun and Moon, he takes whatever Mark decides to give, waits for him at the end of all days. It’s push and pull for the rest of eternity.

Everything does come back to balance.

 

* * *

 

nana (02:09)

meet me tomorrow for your next soul

same place as always

 

런쥔 (09:38)

as if i have a choice

 

nana (09:39)

i’ve missed u

here’s a finger heart to prove it

[img attached]

 

런쥔 (09:40)

gross

say hi to mark for me

 

* * *

 

Renjun is lying on Jeno’s bed in a Sunday afternoon – they just had lunch, bellies full of Chinese takeout and all things food – when the latter asks him “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”.

From where Renjun’s resting, head tucked in the crook of his neck, he knows Jeno’s flustered by his own words, he can feel the heat of his skin against Renjun’s face. He doesn’t even need to look to know that Jeno is staring at the ceiling, knows it by the way his fingers still against Renjun’s lower back.

He doesn’t need to think about.

“I do,” he replies. “I like you a lot, Jeno.”

Then Jeno’s fingers are back on their task, drawing nonsense against the fabric of the shirt he borrowed. None of them say anything more, neither do anything more. They don’t need that, it’s not like anything has changed. But Renjun starts thinking that it _did_ change, wonders about the power that single word carries, rummages through his thoughts because is this the first time a Reaper and a human fell in love, he’s going to kill Johnny if he’s made a bet with Doyoung about it, does he really have to tell Yukhei because he’s never going to shut up about it--

Under him, Jeno shifts, and Renjun moves along with him. He stops when his nose presses lightly against Renjun’s, hand coming up to caress his cheek.

“You’re overthinking,” he tells him, and Renjun accepts him because right now he feels like Jeno knows him more than any being ever could, more than even Death and Life and so on. “Is everything alright?”

Renjun shakes his head because he doesn’t trust his words right now. He might say things he’s not ready for yet.

So he presses a kiss to Jeno’s lips lazily in response, and Jeno kisses him back. All is good.

 

* * *

 

The floor becomes slippery after the ice is gone, and Renjun holds on tight to Yukhei’s arm when they’re walking home after work.

It’s not unusual for them to be sent to get souls together, but it’s never pretty. Somewhere between his personal odyssey Renjun started thinking that being with Jeno has softened him, because he feels a little sick after working with Yukhei. There was a trainwreck in a city nearby, he told Jeno he was visiting a friend who was sick, and he couldn’t ever say no to Jaemin when he asked for him to accompany Yukhei.

“That was… A lot,” he says, putting Renjun in front of him when they enter the bus. “I’m sorry you had to come. I know you hate my-- my stuff.”

Renjun shakes his head. “It’s alright. I'm with you, always, remember?"

"I remember," Yukhei smiles. "Let's go grab some burgers! Tell your boy and that cute friend of his to tag along!"

 

* * *

 

Not long after going to work with Yukhei, there's a night in which Renjun had just bought a piece of pie for an elderly lady when she told him about her grandson, how his eyes were sweet and his feet never stopped moving.

Renjun hesitated too much before touching her forehead, but did it either way.

So as he rushes under the rain, non-stop, not until he reaches Jeno’s door, Renjun starts thinking that perhaps he hates Jaemin. It might be momentaneous, it might not last, but he hates him now, hates his sick games and how he never stops playing them, not even when he thought things were going to feel right again.

He’s soaking wet by the time Jeno opens his door, no time left for explications, he’s crying a little and Jeno has never seen him like this, this is the moment in which there’s no turning back anymore. He’s dressed in clothes that aren’t his when he realizes this isn’t one of Jaemin’s tricks, what was he thinking, not even Jaemin can be so low, Jeno reassures him everything is good with his grandmother who lives far, far away – Jeno doesn’t ask and Renjun doesn’t say it, it’s better that way. And he’s under covers with a boy in his arms when he thinks maybe it _is_ one of Jaemin’s tricks, not just the way he expected it.

Even Death has a heart. In the following morning, Renjun detaches himself from Jeno’s limbs a lot later than he probably should.

Two days later, Jeno asks him if he wants to move in. And he says yes.

 

* * *

 

Love sits in their apartment as soon as Jeno leaves for class, feet dangling from the kitchen counter like they're close friends.

Maybe they are. When Renjun thinks of it, of course it all comes back to Love. He should've listened to Johnny a lot earlier ("A friend of mine told me that"). Of course it would be Love, the bastard. Renjun drops the dishcloth on the sink and dries his hands on the back of his jeans, crosses his arms as Love smiles at him like he knows something Renjun doesn't.

He probably does. That's the kind of thing you would expect from the oldest being on earth. Love knows things the other deities don't. Things not even Fate knows sometimes, but Renjun figures Johnny doesn't mind much about it. They always walk side by side at the end of the day.

"So, it was you," he says. "All along, it was you. Why am I not surprised, Doyoung?"

"Oh, no, dear," the other shakes his head, slides off the countertop to rest his hands on both of Renjun's shoulders, who stares at him in confusion. "It was all him. Your boy, you see. I just gave him a little push, and all the rest came naturally."

Renjun detaches himself from Love with a scoff. He returns to his dishes, of course it had to be Doyoung, of all beings. "You're impossible. All of you are. I'm going to _retire_."

"That ain't happening for a few years, I asked Johnny. Now, tell me, are you satisfied?"

He thinks that sometimes Doyoung asks questions no one else would. He's like that. He walks around the world making people fall in and out of love the moment they need to, brings self-acceptance and forgiveness to those in need, plants a little bit of desire here and there, lets passion be the fire humanity needs to thrive. Then he asks: are you happy? Are you satisfied? What is it that you need more? Is it enough?

It's never enough. That's why Love exists, why it is the oldest deity in the world, older than Death and Life themselves. Because humanity can't get enough of it, and neither does Renjun.

"I'm never satisfied," is what he replies, because that's exactly what Doyoung wants to hear.

"Good," Doyoung replies, and Renjun doesn't need to look to know he's smiling, hears it in his tone. "There's no shame in wanting things. I bet you know that already, don't you?"

"I do. Thanks for that. And no, I'm not repeating myself, please, leave my house."

Doyoung does, but only because he has other business to take care of. Love is busy, everybody knows that. And when Jeno comes home, hours later, and Renjun kisses him senseless, he thinks that he's done with the deities for good. He can't even imagine having dinner with Jaemin and his stupid boyfriend later that week – it was Jeno's idea, of course, poor him, he didn't really understand when Renjun told him those two were unfinished business for eternity –, in fact, he's almost cancelling it over their own dinner when Jeno snatches the phone out of his hand and puts it aside.

"Don't treat your friends like that," he says, with a pout. "I'm excited to meet them. Remember how fun it was going out with Hyuck and your Lucas last month?"

Renjun ponders, reaches for Jeno's hand on top of the table and presses a quick kiss to his knuckles. It's a new habit. He loves his boyfriend's hands.

"You're going to understand me when you meet them," he promises.

Jeno smiles at him, and Renjun smiles back. 

"I can't wait to ask Jaemin how he managed to make us meet, since you don't want to tell me the whole thing."

Renjun sighs. "Jen, I told you, you don't wanna hear that story..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo, what a ride! don't forget to let me know what you thought about it, and leave kudos!
> 
> considerations:  
> \- does yukhei end up dating a certain cute guy... ? who knows!!!  
> \- i love mark lee :-/ in every universe :-/  
> \- also expect a markmin spin-off one of these days  
> \- the song playing in the car when they're on their first date is death with dignity by sufjan stevens
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/morktwt)   
>  [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/nctqueer)
> 
> as of 05/05/19, part 2 has been posted!!


	2. part ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark lee (13:13)  
> can you ask renjun to ask jaemin to unblock me
> 
> jeno (13:14)  
> can u ask jaemin not to kill me k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this happened because one day i woke up and thought: how about i write a little something to a fic i really like, and then this was born. 
> 
> it's a sequel of sorts, to settle things from the first part. the mythology is heavy on this one and i took my time to build some relationship dynamics that were in my head for so long and didn't take part in the first chapter. if you're here and you decide to read it, i hope you like it as much as i liked writing it.
> 
> beware of: noren gay, more deities, markno bromance, jeno being tired before he even began, thoughts about death, markmin being markmin, etc.
> 
> enjoy!!! x x
> 
> (dedicated, ofc, to tessie. ilu.)

Jeno dies on a Sunday morning.

"Welcome to my crib!" Jaemin exclaims, holding his hands on a lethal grip. His smile is big and proud and bright, as if Jeno has just discovered the cure for cancer, and not just died. Perhaps, for Jaemin, the second one means much more. "I hope you find your stay joyful, Lee Jeno. I'll do my best so that you can experience death fully--"

A man lying on his back on the couch sighs. "He won't be here for too long," he says, not looking up from the book he's reading. At his feet, a tiger sleeps, and Jeno follows the way its back rises and falls as it breathes. He's never seen one of these when he was alive. "I have to take him back before you decide to be a little shit and kill him for good."

"Thanks," Jeno replies at the same time that Jaemin groans loudly.

"You're no fun, Mark Lee," he replies. When Mark smiles at him, Jaemin turns his back to him and starts walking. "And don't be late for once, by the way. You should be preparing yourself. Go take a shower so that you won't stink of the living and embarrass myself in front of the Horsemen _again_."

"Thank you for your caring words,," Mark replies, his voice loud and clear even though they're already at the end of a corridor. "I'll be with you soon, no need to miss me already, baby!"

Jaemin snorts, but the tips of his ears become red, and Jeno finally understands why Renjun is always adamant when it comes to the idea of double dates. He settles for inspecting Jaemin's place instead of being judgemental, because his momma taught him better than that.

Death's palace is the biggest thing he's ever seen. Back when he was a kid, his parents used to take him on nice trips, yet he's never seen anything so majestic. It's all black stone, high ceilings and fancy tapestry on the walls. Jeno wasn't much of a humanities guy when he was alive, but he can point out some of the biggest events in history forever engraved into Jaemin's walls. The rise and fall of the Roman Empire and the Mongol conquest of China, the advent of the press and the French Revolution, other things he can't remember quite well from school, and then the day Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar. He giggles, and Jaemin's stone cold hand holds his tightly as they walk further into the depths of the House of Death, as if he's afraid Jeno might run away.

"I didn't know you and Mark got back together," Jeno points out when Jaemin opens a set of doors with a tilt of his wrist, because he doesn't have anything else to say. "Renjun told me you kind of fought one of these days..."

Jaemin takes a while to reply, like he usually does. Jeno looks up.

The sky in the Afterworld isn't blue, nor is the sun bright and yellow. Everything is tinted with rich tones of red and orange, and he wonders how come Hell can be so beautiful. If Jeno's heart could beat, he'd feel it in his ears – he wonders how many times Renjun has seen this sight, wonders how would it be like to walk down Jaemin's garden with him, drenched in sunset forever. He takes one step outside and the air is warm, smells of the apple trees somewhere. By his side, Jaemin finally sighs loudly:

"Honey, please, he can't get enough of this," he says, pointing to all of himself. Jeno laughs, and then Death motions for them to keep walking. "We fought, yes, but we always do. But he always comes back to me, and I always come back to him. It's just--"

"Natural."

Jaemin snorts: "Yes, you can say that. But he can never stay for long. I ban him from my realm every two hundred years or so, before he gets too comfortable, or whenever he starts talking about starting a fam-- well, about painting the walls pastel green, and other things he likes."

"How dare he," Jeno comments, although he doesn't see what difference it would make to Jaemin if his boyfriend painted the walls a different color. Renjun told him he doesn't even live in the House of Death anymore, always hanging out in _Mark's_ realm. Jaemin lets out a skeptical laugh.

"I know, I've always preferred pink! Now come on, Lee Jeno, we don't have all day. Your trial is about to begin."

 

* * *

 

(When Renjun first heard about the letter, Jeno was afraid he'd end up setting the world on fire, like most things felt like when he was with Renjun.

"First of all," he had said, raising the spatula that used to be Yukhei's, but they stole it. A lonely piece of scrambled egg fell to the floor, and Bongshik rushed to eat it before Renjun could notice. "They're such catty bitches. I thought we were over this already."

"I know, right," Jeno replied, patting Nal on the head as she rested on his stomach. "Deities arguing over me being alive or not is sooooo 2020, we're so past that already, babe."

But Renjun didn't laugh at his corny joke like he usually does, and he finished his scrambled eggs in complete silence, and that's how Jeno realized everything was actually deeper than he first imagined. He watched as Renjun ate his eggs and bread with a frown on his face, and then as he picked the letter on top of the kitchen counter, sighed and walked over to him.

"How dare they assume this is anyone's fault but Doyoung's." he started, throwing the sheet of paper on the coffee table. It flew to the underside of the couch instead, and Jeno rolled on his back to get it, tracing the words written in red ink with his fingertips after.

He's still not quite used to Renjun's powers – Mark said they'll go away with time, wearing out like Jeno's old shirts from the high school swimming team –, and the black smoke didn't help. It made him look like a comic book character. He watched as Renjun waved it off with a hand, sitting down on the floor next to him. He leaned in and said: "Or Johnny's, I don't know, any of them. _They_ are the ones messing with the rest of the world. You're just human."

"Thanks," Jeno muttered, and Renjun's hand came up to brush the hair off his face. He died it strawberry blonde like the year before, but it's dry and in need of a new shampoo, but Renjun loves it anyway. "You surely know how to make a guy feel special, babe."

"Your humanity is what I love the most about you. I thought you knew that already."

Jeno smiled: "I thought it was my irresistible charm, mad sexy legs, genius puns and striking looks."

When Renjun leaned in to peck him on the cheek, Jeno's breath got caught on his throat. "And your modesty," the other said. "You're not dying, by the way. I don't care whose ass I have to kick for it."

"Sorry I'm a nuisance," he said, quietly.

Leaning in again, Renjun pressed their foreheads together: "You're never a nuisance, dummy. I will walk through Hell for you, Jeno."

He tried not to, but Jeno laughed. The sound of it reverberated in the room, all because he knows it's true.)

 

* * *

 

 

Jaemin leads him through a maze of ancient vines and trees, deep into a forest where nothing is green and colorful like in the human world.

No. Jeno has never seen anything quite like this, not even in nightmares: how the trees rise high, all pitch black, so dark that it looks like he could be swallowed whole, but then Jeno realizes that all of that darkness isn't stone cold black like Jaemin's eyes, like the obsidians in his walls.

It's dark like wet earth, rich like chocolate, and Jeno runs his fingers up the wood of a tree even bigger than his living room. He's never seen anything quite like this before, not even in _dreams_. He didn't know death could look like this.

"When King Arthur was to make his Round Table, he cut this very tree," Jaemin explains, oblivious to his incredibly soft tone. "The original one died, of course, as all trees do when you cut them like this, and then Mark brought it to me. As a gift. And I let it grow here."

There's a ghost of a smile on his lips, and Jeno thinks of the $100 gift card from Barnes & Noble that he gave Renjun for his birthday. He wonders if his boyfriend's standards are high like Jaemin's but he's too shy to mention it. And then Jaemin snaps out of his dreamy haze, and they continue walking.

He didn't realize they've been walking for so long, as the House of Death stands far, far away. Jeno wants to ask how big, exactly, the Afterworld is, but figures that Jaemin might get annoyed with all of his ignorance.

"I have a warning for you," Death says quietly, hand on Jeno's chest as soon as they reach a cliff. For a second, he thinks Jaemin is going to push him off it, but then he pushes Jeno in direction of a set of stairs. When he leans in to try and figure out where it will take them, he can't see anything in the dark.

"And? What is it?"

Jaemin purses his lips, and then sighs. "Deity law is different from human law," he says. "Which means you're guilty until proven innocent. Ready to go?"

"Wait, what?"

A loud noise coming from down the staircase, like a scream, echoes in his ears. It's like the world shakes with it, and Jaemin rolls his eyes: "Yuta is such a fucking brat. Well, this means that if you can't prove you didn't change your fate on purpose, I'll have to keep you here forever. As in, very dead."

Renjun is going to be _so_ pissed if he doesn't come back for dinner today. Jeno nods. "Nothing here makes sense, but alright. You'll help me, won't you, Jaemin?"

They begin walking down the stairs, and Jaemin laughter echoes around them. "Darling, I'm one of the judges. Mark will play lawyer for you, but he only comes in after you present yourself to the other Horsemen of the Apocalypse. And, overall, don't expect too much of him. Ever."

"Wow, I'm so much more confident now," he sneers. "Thanks, Jaemin."

When Jaemin turns to him, the white of his eyes is gone, replaced by pitch black.

"I'm sorry," he says, with a smile full of teeth. "I didn't hear. What did you say?"

Jeno stumbles backwards a little. "Nothing, dude, wow."

Jaemin grins, eyes going back to normal. "Alright, let's go, we're late already."

After so, so long, they finally reach what looks like an amphitheatre. It's so big that Jeno can't help but look up, and he can barely make out the orange sky. At the very center of the amphitheatre, stand four high thrones made of stone, only one of them not occupied, and as they walk in the direction of them, Jeno is able to make out the appearance of the other three Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

In the one on the left end sits a boy terribly young, with bright green hair and bold makeup, and when he smiles, little fangs pop out. He wears denim shorts and fishnets, and a band tshirt, looking like an evil fairy or someone who would purposely drink milk directly from the gallon. By his side sits the prettiest man Jeno has ever laid his eyes on, with sharp eyes and nails painted blood red, and he wears a cloak so long it rolls down the small staircase at their feet. There's the empty throne next, and Jaemin plops down on it and swings a leg up on its arm, and smiles down at Jeno. By his side, a man with bright red hair and equally red silk pajamas that look more expensive than Jeno's entire life, although he's not sure if deities shop at Gucci.

"Lee Jeno, may I introduce to you," Jaemin speaks up, motioning for the other men. "Pestilence," the boy with fangs smiles. "War," the pretty man rolls his eyes. "And Famine." silk pajamas dude waves at him.

"Hi," he replies, and War rubs a hand against his perfect face.

"Can we do this quick?" he asks. "I have dinner with Hope later and don't want to be late."

Pestilence takes a look on the expensive watch on his wrist. "It's not even lunchtime yet, dude. Chill a little, perhaps?"

"You _know_ how Jaehyun is. Even when I'm on time, I'm late!"

Jaemin sighs audibly. "Tell me about it! Mark is late for absolutely everything. He says he always loses track of time after that fight with Time, it's like his clock is always fifteen minutes late, and he _knows_ that, but he just can't bring himself to leave fifteen minutes early because he loves being a pain in my ass."

"Boyfriends, am I right," Pestilence sighs ironically, but the others pay him no mind. "You pricks, I might _look_ young but I _had_ my fair share of boyfriends over the ages and I will not accept this--"

While three of them engage in the discussion, Famine looks at Jeno and gets down from his throne.

When he's close enough, Jeno wishes he hadn't left his spot. Despite his soft features, his eyes are the worst – in them, Jeno only sees sadness. It's so much that he can't help but look away.

"So, you're Lee Jeno."

"That's me."

Famine smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I'm Taeil. You can call the others Chenle and Yuta, and we'll begin your trial shortly. Would you like some coffee first? We can arrange anything that you like."

 

* * *

 

"My name is Lee Jeno," he starts. "I just turned twenty two years old, and I'm a dancer. I met Huang Renjun in 2020 and we've been together for almost two years now, and I love him."

The pretty man, Yuta, coos. "That's cute. Too bad I didn't ask."

"Heeeey," Chenle whines. "I thought _I_ was bad cop and you were good cop. What happened to that, huh?"

Sitting on the ground beside Jeno, cross-legged and with a box of chinese takeout on his lap, Mark clicks his chopsticks at them and says: "All cops are pigs, either way!", and is promptly ignored by all of them except for Jaemin, who winks at him. Jeno fights back a groan and continues:

"Renjun was supposed to take my soul in 2020. For some reason, he wasn't able to. When Jaemin, well, when _Death_ found out about it, it was already too late. My fate had changed, and I would die no more," he pauses like Mark told him to do, and War rolls his eyes. Jeno continues: "Later on, after he told me everything about it, it has come to my attention that all of this," he gestures vaguely. "Comes down to Love. Like, with a capital L. The _dude_ Love."

"Are you saying that this has Doyoung's finger on it?" Taeil sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Of course it does."

Yuta leans forward on his seat, and when he does, his cloak moves and catches fire for a second. It makes Jeno stumble backwards, startled, and War says with a smile: "I say we kill them both. I've always wanted to end a god."

Jaemin's eyes roll to the back of his head, and he motions for Jeno to continue, promptly ignoring the other deity. He does, thinking of what they've practiced back home.

"Love made our paths cross in a... very unique way. The moment I saw Renjun in that coffee shop, I knew it was just different, and I had to talk to him. And when he stopped me from being run over by that car--"

Chenle turns to Jaemin: "So it's your Reaper's fault! Case closed, we keep Jeno here and send the Reaper to eternal damnation. I have ideas. How about the black plague? I can bring it back, one-person edition, with only a few rats for fun. Oh! And Jeno can watch!"

Jaemin slaps the arms of his throne, red on the face. "Renjun is _already_ on probation, Pestilence! He'll soon become fully human and suffer from senescence. Isn't that horrible enough? To _age_ , to become _old_ ? I already did my part here, and you're not allowed near _any_ of my Reapers ever since that incident with Yukhei. I _haven't_ forgiven you for that!"

"For fuck's sake, Death, it's been four hundred years. I'm sure he doesn't even remember."

There's a giggle to his left, and Jeno watches as Mark fishes the remainings of pork on his food box. He offers some to Jeno, but he shakes his head, and then Mark sighs: "Let my client finish, you guys."

Jaemin scoffs, "Shut the fuck up," out of habit, and Mark only smiles at him. Jeno decides he can't stand them anymore, they're worse than what Renjun warned him about, and continues: "So, when Renjun stopped me from getting run over by a car, it was in his destiny to do it."

Yuta scowls. "Grim Reapers don't have fate, you absolute fool. They're barely human to begin with, they're all that's left when you strip a human from everything that made it a human. They exist for the sole purpose of serving this guy right here," he points to Jaemin with a thumb. "And your rehearsed speech ain't changing that, _mortal_."

"Thank you, War, for your kind words," Jaemin says, with a bored tone. "Life, please, take the wheel."

Jeno looks down at Mark, eyes wide. He didn't expect Yuta to say that, – and his ego is kind of hurt, alright? – and this is the part where Mark gets up. He snaps his fingers and the chinese takeout is gone, and he's suddenly wearing a suit, not the pair of sweatpants with little skulls over it from before. He pushes a pair of glasses up his nose and turns a page from the clipboard he's holding.

"Let's do this, baby, I know the law," he says, cheekily. The tips of Jaemin's ears turn red. "So, what my client is trying to say is that according to Johnny Seo, AKA Fate himself, there are approximately 16.093.265 alternate realities in which Renjun and Jeno coexist in any sort," he turns the clipboard to them, and when Jeno takes a peek, he can see a complex diagram that he understands nothing of. Good thing he trusts Mark more than anything right now. "In 99,99% of them, they end up together and Jeno is alive. What is interesting is that, in all of them, Renjun saves Jeno from the moving car. Which, clearly, leads us to assume that saving him is what he was always supposed to do in the first place."

Pestilence furrows his brows. "Is Life _allowed_ to do that?"

"He can do whatever the fuck he wants," Death deadpans. After a while, he adds: "Unfortunately, of course."

Mark smiles proudly, and Yuta's eyes roll to the back of his head. Jeno is worried for him, he wonders if a god's eyes can't hurt.

"Gentlemen, bear with me," Life continues. "If Renjun was always supposed to save Jeno, it means that him not being ran over by a car isn't the reason why his fate changed. Therefore, Huang Renjun isn't guilty."

Jeno has never understood the meaning of advocate of the devil until Jaemin crosses his arms and says: "Aren't you here to prove Jeno isn't guilty, babe? Isn't _he_ your client?"

Mark cracks his knuckles: "Jeno didn't know about the existence of all of this until a few months after Love admitted to have put them together, which reinforces the idea that the guilty one here is Love himself, by the way, but I'm going back to that later. I know that Jeno didn't know because I was there when Renjun told him everything. He was clueless as approximately," he looks down at the clipboard. "99,87% of the human population. The rest are Seers, of course, and Apprentices."

"So, you're biased," Taeil accuses. "You are a friend of his."

"I am a witness," Mark corrects. "As well as Death, right here, is too. Are you accusing a fellow Horseman of being biased, Famine?"

When Jaemin speaks, his voice echoes in the room like a thunderstorm. "I am nothing but the judge. Go on, or stay quiet!"

"Whatever you say, love," Mark sighs, and Jeno has to bite back a laugh because he doesn't want Jaemin to kill him.

"I said, _go on_. We don't have all day."

He does: "Because of his ignorance, there is no way Jeno, as well as any other human on Earth except for Seers and Apprentices, could have known that meeting Renjun would change his fate. And I reiterate: according to Johnny, their meeting was meant to be."

"Grim Reapers don't have fate!" Yuta insists. "They're barely human!"

Mark puts both hands on his hips, eyebrows raised: "Says who? Says you? 'Cause as far as I'm concerned, you're just the dude who fuels imperialist conflicts around the world _because it's fun_ . Humans and their meaning on the universe, that's _my_ department here, buddy."

Yuta groans loudly, "Hello? Not that you said about the Peloponnesian wars, back in the day. You were _thrilled_ , Life, you hypocrite piece of shit."

"That wasn't imperialism, go back to school." Mark bites back.

Yuta's cape catches fire again, but Mark doesn't seem fazed by it. "I've never been to school, moron, for I am a higher god--"

When Chenle materializes beside him and pushes a DS console on his chest, Jeno's not surprised. "They'll go on for ages, so play with me," he says, with a bright smile, and Jeno smiles back.

Thirty minutes later, Jaemin gets tired: "Mark-- Life, do you have anything else you'd like to say?"

Red in the face, Mark stomps his foot. "No."

Jaemin turns to him: "Therefore, Jeno, darling, you plead…?"

"Not guilty," he says, firmly.

Mark holds up a fist, and Jeno bumps one against his.

Wearing identical bored expressions – except for Chenle, still leaning against Jeno's side and far more interested in his DS console –, three of the Horsemen nod at his words and begin to talk in hushed whispers. Jeno can't understand the language, but Mark looks apprehensive. He's changed back in the pajamas he so clearly borrowed from Jaemin.

The latter, then, turns to them and licks his lips. He says: "Thank you for your service, boys. We will analyse the case and get back to you in a week on the human timeline. You'll be scheduled for a second trial when that happens, and meet us here once more."

Jeno nods: "Thank you."

Jaemin smiles softly for a second, and then turns to Mark with a scowl.

"Life, do something useful and take him home. And, Jeno, try not to die until then, will you?"

Before Jeno can say anything else, Mark grabs his hand in a death grip, and they're suddenly sitting inside a subway train.

He vomits all over Mark's old school vans.

"Attaboy," he replies, rubbing Jeno's back softly. "Welcome back to life, Jeno."

 

* * *

 

One thing Jeno can't never get enough in life – alongside with his cats, and jjajangmyun, and dancing –, is Renjun.

Of course, if he were to put these things in worder, Renjun would come first most days (expect for days in which he doesn't laugh at his puns), because that's just how things are. So when Jeno opens the door to their apartment and Renjun throws himself against him full force, he can't help but smile so hard he can't see anything, and just holds him as close as it's possible.

"Thank you for not being dead," is what Renjun says against his chest, sighing in relief. Jeno manages to get them inside before any of the cats decide to leave, and cups Renjun's face with both hands. "I hope they weren't awful with you."

Jeno shakes his head. "Catty bitches."

"Catty bitches!" he laughs, and Jeno kisses him. "Wait, hold on, tell me about the trial--"

"Shh, kiss first, talk later."

Later on, when he's still lying lazily on the bed while Renjun pets his hair, Jeno breathes in deeply and begins to talk. Except that the words don't feel as heavy as he expected them to be – the Huang Renjun effect, as always –, and at the end, he doesn't feel weird about it anymore.

"I know I said this a billion times before, but--" the latter says, brushing the hair off Jeno's face. "--if he could be killed, I would kill Jaemin. I'd really do it."

"Injunie, no one is killing anyone," Jeno replies. "He's just doing his job… I think. Although I'm not too fond of the idea of going back to his _crib_. It all gives me the heebie-jeebies, including his hipster boyfriend, although I think I trust Mark more than any of the other god dudes."

Renjun laughs softly and leans in to kiss him on the cheek, and Jeno turns his head slightly so the kiss lands on the corner of his lips, and then reaches for some more. He sighs contently. All is good.

 

* * *

 

mark lee (13:13)

can you ask renjun to ask jaemin to unblock me

 

jeno (13:14)

can u ask jaemin not to kill me k

 

mark lee (13:14)

i'm trying, jeno

i really am

 

jeno (13:15)

i know

and thank u for that

 

jeno (13:17)

he said he'd try but jaemin is

"a petty asshole if i ever saw one"

 

mark lee (13:18)

i know, trust me. thx <3

 

* * *

 

"Does it always feel like that for you?" Jeno asks, one day, when they're walking back from Donghyuck's place. He swings their joined hands back and forth and watches as Renjun tries to fight back his tipsiness.

"I'm neither dead or alive, at least for now," he replies, quietly, his words slurred a little bit. "I mean-- I don't feel things like you do, baby."

Jeno drops the subject, but it keeps him up all night – he thinks about it as he watches the way Renjun's chest rises and falls, how his lips fall open just slightly and his eyes move once in a while under his eyelids. Not dead, not alive either, but he looks alive just like anything else does.

In fact, Renjun's always looked more alive than anything else Jeno's ever seen.

Something inside Jeno's chest feels hollow ever since Jaemin killed him, like Mark bringing him back to life wasn't enough to make him a living being again. Not dead, but not alive either. That's how he feels, exactly like Renjun claims to. Except that he locks away that thought, presses closer to him and buries his face on the crook of his boyfriend's neck, hoping to fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

Jeno finds out about his second trial in an unexpected way.

"So, basically this weird guy walked up to me today," says Donghyuck, over burger and fries. A piece of bread falls from his mouth and Jeno groans in disgust, but he pays him no mind. "He had bright green hair and fangs, and he told me: _tell your buddy Jeno that he has a date with the Four Horsemen of Apocalypse in two days, at nightfall, in the Afterworld. Tell him to wear something spicy, and to bring his DS._ "

Jeno chokes on his iced tea. _Pestilence,_ the dangerous little fella. "Did he really say that?"

"No, not the part about the clothing. I just wanted to see your reaction, and it was really boring."

"And what did you say to him?"

Donghyuck smiles unabashedly. "I told him to fuck off, because what the hell. And then he said he'd make me have sinusitis for the rest of my life but, jokes on him, I already do! And then I said I'd give you the memo, because he was kinda cute, not gonna lie, you know."

Sighing, Jeno leans in to steal one of his fries. "I _love_ my life," he says, not to Donghyuck specifically, but hoping that the deities out there will hear.

 

* * *

 

"Thank you for joining us, Fate," says Jaemin, holding the man's hands in his. Well, one of them – the other is somehow weaving something in a loom, Jeno doesn't know exactly because it happens just so fast, he's getting whiplash. "It's good to see you again."

"It's always a pleasure," Fate replies, and Mark elbows Jeno on the ribs so hard that he yelps, but the other deities pay him no mind. He turns to him with a scowl, and Mark whispers:

"That's Johnny. He's a very good friend of mine, and he's here to testify in your favor. He's a little weird with the loom thing and he gets shy about it, so be a nice kid, okay? This is important, dude. Just don't stare."

Jeno pouts. "I know it's important, my life is on the line!"

Instead of the amphitheater, they're in Jaemin's living room in the House of Death, with jazz playing on the background – Mark's playlist, he's learned –, and Jeno has a bowl of organic corn flakes with soy milk on his lap. He's pretty sure that Mark brings all the real food here, because everything is either vegan or on the way there. Jeno thinks that deities don't necessarily need to eat, but figures that if something tastes nice, why not? Although he's noticed Jaemin isn't fond of Mark's diet, because he looked at Jeno's snack with disgust in his eyes.

As for him… Food in the Afterworld tastes like paper. Must be the perks of being dead – you're forever stuck with Jaemin, and you can't even eat something good! Being dead for real must suck _profoundly_ –, or maybe it's just Mark's organic corn flakes that taste like shit. Who knows. Jeno's not complying because he's the guest here and his momma taught him better than that, but he wishes he could eat something tastier. Like a Big Mac.

When Johnny and Jaemin stop talking, the man starts walking up to him, and Jeno hates Mark for standing up and going to bother his boyfriend.

"Lee Jeno!" Johnny says, sitting down on the couch with him. Jeno tries not to stare but he keeps looking down at Fate's hands, forever working on his infinite loom. He pulls a string and starts it over and over again, and Jeno's overwhelmed. "How's it going with college? History, right?"

Jeno frowns. "I major in Economy, actually."

Nodding, Johnny smiles: "Yes, that's right. I forgot that you change majors next year, right before Renjun proposes to you."

He chokes on his cereal: "He does _what_?"

A pair of hands grab his shoulders from the back, and Jaemin presses his thumbs against Jeno's shoulder blades with a little too much force. "Great to see you getting along!" he says, and Jeno wiggles himself out of his hold and places the bowl of cereal on the fancy coffee table before he spills soy milk on Jaemin's fancy leather couch. "Johnny, why don't you take Jeno to his trial, and Mark and I will follow shortly after?"

When Jeno turns back to look at Mark, he shakes his head frantically, mouthing "Don't!". Jeno smiles at him and says: "Sure!"

 

* * *

 

" _And what did he say on your behalf?_ "

Jeno rubs a finger on his eye, sighing. "That I was supposed to die, but then around 10 in the morning that day, my fate changed. Like, something happened, Johnny doesn't know what it is because he tried to look in his backup loom but for some reason, it just didn't show up… Injunie, I really wanna go home."

" _I know, baby,_ " Renjun replies softly. " _It'll be over soon, I promise."_

Jeno thinks so, too, except that he has a feeling inside his chest that it won't end up the way he would personally like.

 

* * *

 

"Mark," Jeno asks, fidgeting with the helmet in his hands. It smells like lillies, the kind of flower you see in a funeral, and it makes his head spin. It's probably Jaemin's. "You said that in 99,99% of the alternate realities, Renjun and I end up together. What's the 0,01%?"

Mark's given up in transporting him with his… Magic, or power, or whatever, since Jeno also threw up on his Kendrick Lamar t-shirt. Now Mark drives him around in his enchanted motorbike that never runs out of fuel, and he's just dropped Jeno off at his place again after Jeno gave the motorbike an experimental ride around the block because Mark is just cool like that.

Except that now he doesn't feel like going inside, and facing Renjun, and the fact that he's probably going to die. He raises his eyebrows at Mark insistently.

"The 0,01% is the reality in which you don't end up together," he replies, finally. "It's the one in which you die. The one in which the four Horsemen decide that you're guilty, and Jaemin keeps your soul with him until Renjun's probation ends, in seventy years or so, and he dies alone. You're reborn before that happens, and you never find each other in the Afterworld for the rest of Eternity."

Jeno's tongue tastes like sand on his mouth. He's heard about it – Jaemin and his colleagues are unforgiving –, and the idea of not being with Renjun makes his heart sink. He knows it's not good, but still asks: "And is that reality... This one?"

He's never seen Mark's face drop like that. He's always bright and cheerful, except for when Jaemin pushes at his buttons, of course. His eyes are not so bright right now. "Jeno..."

"Is it this one?" he repeats, firmly. "Mark, I'm serious, is it--"

Mark shakes his head, the clipboard disappears from his hands, he puts them inside the pockets of his leather jacket. "50% chance, Jeno. Not even Fate knows for sure."

Jeno doesn't reply. He gives the helmet back to Mark and goes inside.

 

* * *

 

When they first met, Renjun used to be cold.

Not talking about the way he was so reluctant to do anything – hold hands, go out, _kiss_ –, but literally cold. Jeno would touch his cheek with the back of his hand and wonder if he had low blood pressure, and Renjun would constantly say sorry for touching him with such cold hands. Which was, of course, bullshit, because Jeno didn't mind at all. He'd have him in any kind of way if Renjun let him.

But now, now Renjun is all kinds of _warm_. He presses his hands to Jeno's sides under his shirt, palms hot against his ribs, and it's enough for Jeno to forget about death and everything else. Like it always is with Renjun.

"You're like a furnace, did you know that?" Jeno says against his mouth. "What happened? You used to-- used to cuddle me just to get warm, I felt so used."

Renjun rolls his eyes, hand coming up to hold Jeno's chin before they end up clashing teeth. He does not like that. He presses a kiss to Jeno's lips. "You happened," he says. "You make me human."

Jeno wants to tell him: _I am no god, I don't have any kind of power over you_. But when he's sitting on Renjun's lap like this, pressing him to the back of their couch, with Renjun's hands under his shirt and mouth against his, he doesn't need to be a god.

 

* * *

 

 

mark lee (14:14)

yo i'm picking u up tomorrow

after lunch ig

 

jeno (14:15)

nooo don't do this to me

 

mark lee (14:16)

?

 

jeno (14:16)

it's my best friend's birthday!

does it Have to be tomorrow?

 

mark lee (14:17)

jeno u will die

and ur worried abt a birthday party

 

jeno (14:18)

>:((

you know how important birthdays are

you are LIFE

you SHOULD know

 

mark lee (14:19)

…

lemme see what i can do

 

jeno (14:20)

THANK YOU

MY FAVORITE GOD

 

mark lee (14:21)

you know what, fuck you. after all i did for you

^^^ jaemin obviously. i'm sorry for him

I AM NOT SORRY

^^^ also jaemin. have a nice day jeno <3

*>:(

^^^ *<3 <3

 

* * *

 

"Happy birthday, Hyuckie," Jeno says, arms around his neck tightly. "I'm glad to be here with you for one more 6 of June."

Donghyuck's laughter is loud like it always is, echoing in the walls of his place, and he taps Jeno's back with his hands softly. "You talk like you're going away but don't worry, you're stuck with me for the rest of your life," he replies. "I love you, Jeno. Thanks for being my best friend."

Later on, when Jeno finds Renjun in the kitchen with a beer on his hands, laughing at whatever Yukhei told him, he presses against his side and it's the alcohol talking, he whispers: "Injunie-- Injunie, I don't wanna die."

Renjun's gaze softens immediately, he leaves the beer on top of the counter and holds Jeno's face in his hands, pulling him closer until their foreheads touch. It feels a lot like it did the other day, when they were walking back from Donghyuck's place, except that right now Jeno's chest is way heavier than it had been.

"You're not going to die, baby," Renjun replies, and Jeno's hands miserably cling to his hips like it's going to be enough for the Horsemen not to take his soul. "Jeno, you're not-- I'm not gonna let you die."

The kitchen feels too crowded right now, and Jeno feels bad for feeling like shit on Donghyuck's birthday. He sighs: "But I will. And I'll have to say goodbye to everyone, and I'll have to-- I'll have to leave you. And then I'll never see you again and that's--" he shakes his head. "That's worse than dying, Injunie."

During all the time they've been together, Jeno's only seen Renjun crying once – sometime after they started dating, something about his grandmother, he had to hold him until Renjun's heart stopped beating like crazy –, and it's not a sight he's quite fond of. Something inside Jeno dies a little when he sees the way Renjun's eyes water. "No, baby, don't cry..."

"You're not dying," Renjun repeats firmly. He presses his thumbs to Jeno's cheekbones, rubbing against the skin lightly. "I already told you this. I'll walk through Hell, I'll fight a god for you. Don't fucking doubt me."

A chuckle escapes Jeno, still terrified, but Renjun makes it better. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good. So don't--" he sighs. "-- don't think this is over, Jen. Everything will turn out just fine."

Jeno doesn't reply. He hooks his fingers on the loops of Renjun's belt and pulls him into a kiss. It's better than talking.

 

* * *

 

On Jeno's third day of trial, Jaemin and Mark fight.

It happens like this: he's going through the books in Jaemin's personal library, the first copies of every book that ever existed – must be a gift, he thinks, a very beautiful one –, carefully running his finger through the spine of Machiavelli's The Prince in vernacular italian, and thinking that all his life Jeno figured that being immortal would be boring, but right now it looks really cool as long as you have someone to enjoy eternity with you. And then he entire ground shakes, and he has to brace himself against the wooden table in the center of the room, watching in horror as the books fall from the shelves one by one.

" _You have no powers here--_ " he hears Jaemin speaking through the walls, and it's as if he's everywhere, Jeno can't hear anything but him. He swallows dry. " _You come, and like always you want things your way, and I'm not having that._ _You don't have powers over me_."

Then the book stop falling, and Jeno waits in silence before he starts moving. Maybe he can get outdoors before they start ruining the place again, but he's barely crossed the room when Mark speaks, loud and clear: " _I'm not trying to overpower you. I'm trying to-- fuck, Jaemin, I'm trying to be with you. Is it that hard to understand?_ "

Jeno winces, trying to remember where was the last place he's seen them, he wonders if he can go out through the window without killing himself in the process. He does not want to hear things that have nothing to do with him--

" _If you were truly trying then you'd understand why I have to keep him."_

Jeno sighs, rubbing hands through his face. Of course. Of course, of course, of course.

" _Don't lie to yourself,"_ Mark argues. " _You don't have to do anything, you're uncharacteristically complying to whatever shit the Horsemen are telling you to do and I don't understand why because you've always been so much bigger than any of them, so just stop lying for once."_

The ground shakes once again, and Jeno's heart is on his throat, he's afraid Jaemin will tear the place down with him inside. Maybe this is how he dies. And Jaemin speaks: _"Are you calling me a liar? Is that what I'm hearing, Life?_ "

_"If the shoe fits, Death, there's nothing I can do."_

And then: silence. When Jeno blinks, everything in the room is back to its rightful place, like nothing ever happened. Except for the books. Gone. When he walks out of the room and through Jaemin's long, long corridors, it's like Mark has never been there in the first place. The walls are naked, the House of Death is silent, and Jeno feels cold to the bone.

He finds Jaemin on the living room, curled into himself on the couch.

"Oh, Jaemin," Jeno says quietly, walking up to him, but Jaemin raises a hand in warning.

"How much did you hear?" he asks, harshly.

Jeno purses his lips. When Jaemin looks up to him, his eyes are red. Jeno's never thought of seeing a god crying before.

"Everything?" he replies softly, and Jaemin scoffs, looking away.

Jeno stands by the doorstep, speechless. Jaemin stays quiet for an awful long time – he figures that maybe time flows differently for someone who's been around for so long, so Jeno waits –, and then he presses the sleeves of his sweater to his eyes. "Are you hungry?" he asks. "I can cook something for you."

His mouth betrays him before Jeno can do something about it. "What did you do to Mark's things?"

Jaemin looks tiny in his living room, small in a way he's never been. He purses his lips and says: "I got rid of them. All of it. I banished him."

"You banished--" Jeno frowns. "Jaemin, how am I gonna go home? You can't bring me back to life."

It clicks. Jaemin pinches the bridge of his nose with the tips of his fingers and stays quiet for a moment, and then he shakes his head.

"I don't need him to do _anything_ for me," he says firmly, more to himself than to Jeno, and as much as Jeno would like to kick his ass right now, he nods. "Don't worry, let's just-- I am going to make some tea now."

And he does. Jaemin coaxes Jeno into sitting on the counter and he makes tea for two, humming to himself in a language that Jeno doesn't understand, and the latter takes his time to take a look around the kitchen and think of how Jaemin's place looks very little like him when Mark's things aren't here. It's kind of sad, actually, it almost makes Jeno pity him.

But he doesn't. He accepts Jaemin's tea in complete silence, and watches as he sits awkwardly in his kitchen. After a while, he speaks:

"Jeno, how much did you hear exactly?"

He sighs, looking down at the ugly cup of tea that Jaemin found for him. "Everything, dude. Including the part where you said you'd kill me. So maybe stop losing your time with all this trial shit and do it right now, okay? I'm ready, or whatever, I don't wanna bother any of you anymore."

Jaemin shakes his head, laughing soundless. "I'm not going to kill you. I'm not a killer. You humans always say--"

"That's because you're mean," Jeno replies, and Jaemin's eyes widen. He laughs. "That's right, you're fucking mean. I bet no one ever told you that to your face, but since I'm going to die, I'm saying it. You're a fucking pain in the ass, Jaemin. And to think that I--"

He shakes his head, taking a sip of his tea. Jaemin leans over the counter, raising eyebrows at him, and Jeno's surprised that he hasn't bitten of his head yet. Maybe Death is unpredictable after all.

"You what?"

Jeno sighs, putting the cup down. "I defended you. All those times that Renjun talked shit about you because he was so pissed off, I defended you because I thought that you weren't as bad as you try to be, because I saw how much Mark likes you and I thought that if a guy like him loves a guy like you, you must not be bad at all. I thought you weren't inherently evil after all."

"Inherently evil?" Jaemin snorts. "I'm not inherently evil, baby."

"Oh, you're not? Then you're mean because you _like_ being a pain in the ass? I got news for you, buddy, being a piece of shit for fun is so ten years ago."

Jaemin shakes his head. "I'm not inherently evil, Jeno," he says, smiling. He puts his own cup down. "Whatever it is that you say I am, you humans made me like this."

Putting his cup down, Jaemin gets up from the counter and starts pacing around the kitchen. He raises a hand and Jeno thinks: _this is the moment he's going to make me burn in the pits of Hell_ , but Jaemin traces a drawing in the air, and then another, and another. Black sand rises from his fingers and they tell Jeno a very fast, very confusing story, but he gets it: it's Death over the ages, His representations, the fear He causes. Paintings, poems, characters, incidents, tragedies, all of it dancing in Jaemin's kitchen, appearing and vanishing right in front of his eyes on the next second.

"I'm not inherently evil," Jaemin says, in a bitter tone. "But you humans have always been so, so afraid of me," the black sand falls to the floor, some of it splashing on Jeno's skin. It stings. He looks down at his bloody hands and sees, it's glass. Jaemin continues: "You told me I'd never be anything but a monster, so I decided I'd be really good at being one."

Jeno wants to say a lot of things. Something along the lines of _I'm sorry it has to be this way,_ or maybe _seek a therapist, Jaemin, that'd save a lot of trouble for everyone_ , but he figures his mortal words must weight nothing to a god, so he's not surprised, either, when Jaemin sighs and takes a phone out of his pocket.

"And you know what," he says while typing. "If you think I'm a freak, your boyfriend isn't much better either. Remind me to tell you one of these days what makes a Grim Reaper. I can show you, and then you'll thank me for being _only_ dead."

"What do you mean," Jeno asks, alarmed, but Jaemin shakes his head, ignoring him:

"Since Mark is being a pain, I figure you'll have to stay in the guest room," then, he pauses, frowning at the phone screen. Jaemin points in the direction of the back doors. "Or go take a walk, do whatever, just don't do anything stupid. I will be back soon."

He vanishes, and Jeno is alone. The black glass has vanished too, but he sighs deeply and smashes Jaemin's mug against the nearest wall.

Jeno is tired of gods.

 

* * *

 

injunie (9:14)

hi baby

how are you?

 

jeno (9:15)

hi

i gotta tell u something

 

injunie (9:15)

what happened?

 

jeno (9:16)

mark and jaemin fought

and i kinda told jaemin to fuck off

well i didn't say fuck off

but i intended to

 

injunie (9:17)

oh baby :(

did he storm out?

 

jeno (9:18)

yeah and he left me here

and he also banished mark

so idk how im gonna come home??

 

injunie (9:18)

WHAT

i'm going to kill him

 

injunie (9:19)

i'll kill him for REAL

 

jeno (9:19)

wait until i get out of here ok

 

injunie (9:20)

this is so infuriating

i can't believe

oh wait a sec

 

jeno (9:20)

okie

 

injunie (9:23)

uh, mark's here idk why

i think he wants to talk???? i'll beat his ass

 

jeno (9:24)

DON'T

ig he's fine he was just so pissed at jaemin

it's not his fault he dates a freak

 

injunie (9:25)

that's true

i'll call you later ok

 

injunie (9:26)

but hey jen

 

jeno (9:26)

hello

 

injunie (9:27)

i love you

so much

 

jeno (9:28)

i love you too

can i ask you something really quick

 

injunie (9:29)

shoot it

 

jeno (9:30)

what makes a grim reaper?

 

jeno (9:35)

injunie?

 

injunie (9:37)

sorry baby

i can't talk rn but i'll reply to u later

s2

 

* * *

 

Renjun greets Mark at the door, but doesn't let him inside.

"He's not home," he says, in a bitter tone. "I'm honestly done with you, _all_ of you, so don't waste my time and go get him right now before I snap your neck."

"I am sorry," Mark says, genuinely. "I am truly sorry, Renjun, for all the trouble caused. I just dropped by because-- I can't go back there, I can't get him."

Renjun rolls his eyes, crossing arms. He never took himself for the overprotective type, but that was before he had someone to care for – he'd run Mark over with his own motorbike at any chance at this moment, and Mark knows, because he doesn't move an inch.

"I trusted you," he says. "I trusted you to take care of him because I can't go to the Afterworld anymore, and all you did was terrify him. You left him there alone with Jaemin because of a childish fight and now he-- he's asking about things I can't answer, Life. Because you and your stupid boyfriend took everything from me ages ago and, not satisfied, you're taking him too."

Mark's chin drops. "Renjun--"

Black smoke clouds the space between them, and Renjun purposely pulls Mark into Jaemin's domain so that his neighbors can't possibly hear. He laughs. "I actually think it's funny, because for someone who cares for the living, you have no idea how to deal with humans. But that's because you deities are just egoist assholes who play with humanity like you're playing chess against yourselves, like you've always been, so miss me with that _oh I'm sorry shit_ , because are you really?"

"Yes!" Mark exclaims, sighing. "Yes, I am sorry, Renjun. Do you think I'd come here if I was as self-centered as you think I am? I didn't mean to drag him into mine and Jaemin's shit, but it just kind of happened. And I will fix it, even though Jaemin deserved it."

"Why?"

Mark shrugs. "I care about Jeno, he's a really nice guy, and I care about you guys. You two are my friends. Like, maybe the only friends I've had in millennia."

Renjun purses his lips. The black smoke wears off. "You're such a loser, Mark Lee."

He smiles: "I know. And I'd go against everything not to let Jeno die. I promised that to you months ago and I'm reiterating my promise."

"Even against Jaemin?"

"Yes," Mark nods. "Even against him. _Especially_ against him, even though you know that he's more on our side of the story than the others. Trust me on this one."

Renjun rolls his eyes, hand coming up to pierce the bridge of his nose. He can't possibly think of Jaemin right now. "I just-- I just don't understand why you're doing this to him," then he adds, in a lower tone: "He's a wreck, I've never seen him like this. And he never did anything wrong. Jeno deserves to-- he deserves to life his life to the fullest. Why can't they just let him go? Why does _one_ soul make a difference?"

Mark shakes his head. "Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, Renjun. It just takes and takes and takes. You know how it is, you know how _He_ is."

"I guess I do," he replies bitterly, looking back to the spot where Jeno usually sits at the couch, when he presses his knees to his chest as he binge-watches Stranger Things or some other show, maybe a bowl of noodles on the coffee table and Bongshik cuddling up to him. Renjun can almost see him there, just like he should always be, and then thinks of him alone at the House of Death. Renjun turns back to Life: "Thanks for everything, Mark, but one day I'm going to kick Jaemin's ass really bad and he's not going to like it."

"You'd be doing me a favor, really," says Mark, offering him a smile. "I'll bring your boyfriend back after his trial, Injunie. Even if I have to break into Jaemin's realm by hijacking the Reaper system. Like, Yukhei lives in your old building right--"

" _Don't_ drag Yukhei into your shit! You're a grown deity and you can solve things on your own, as in, talk to Jaemin or whatever."

Mark sighs. "Alright, I'll talk to him," he raises a hand. "Pinky promise."

This guy, Renjun thinks, but laces his own pinky on Mark's either way. "I don't know how you guys still work, by the way. Why do you keep going back to him? All you do is fight."

Scratching the top of his head, Mark makes a face. A typical thinking-of-Jaemin face. He sighs audibly. "He's my other half, or some shit like that. On a whole other level, that is. You know I can't-- you _know_."

"Do I?"

"Yes, you know," Mark lays a hand on his shoulder, and suddenly all Renjun sees in his mind is Jeno. His heart hurts. When Mark retreats the hand, the vision disappears. "Because you love him. So you know."

Renjun fidgets with the doorknob. "Have a safe ride back home, Mark," he says, because he knows that you'd expect the whole world to be Mark's home, but both of them know better. He waits until Mark disappears on the elevator before closing the door.

 

* * *

 

"Hi," Jaemin says hours later, when he sticks his head inside the room where Jeno's laying on the bed, reading a book. He looks like he's been crying again. "It's time for the trial."

"Who's gonna speak on my behalf if Mark is not here?" is what Jeno replies, not looking up from his book. "And did you talk to him?"

He hears Jaemin sighing. "Yes, I did talk to him, and you won't need him today, trust me. Let's go, I want to tell you a story on the way."

Jeno doesn't trust him, not even for a bit, but puts the book down on the bed and gets up.

They stay silent for most of the path outside, and he thinks that maybe Jaemin has given up on telling a story, but that's when Jeno notices they've taken a detour on the property, headed in the direction of the fields where Jeno never went before.

One of these times, he asked Jaemin where the dead stay when they reach the Afterworld, and he told him – they stay far, far from the House of Death, somewhere nice enough for them not to wander through here. And then Jeno asked more (is there anything like a Purgatory, where to bad people go when they die, where do good people go when they die), and Jaemin answered as well: Death judges them all, but what humans call Hell is only a place where no one gets a second chance, the opportunity to be reborn. _Some people just stay dead for eternity_ , Jaemin's told him, _but don't worry, when you die, you'll surely be reborn._ And Jeno meant to ask whether it'd be soon or not, but the words died on his throat.

And as they walks, Jeno wonders if Jaemin is going to show the dead to him, and wonders if he'll recognize someone – but what he finds on the fields are stables, and majestic black horses everywhere.

"These," Jaemin says, quietly. "Are my Nightmares."

Jeno lets out a giggle despite his sour humor. "For some reason I pictured thestrals, so I'm surprised. They're cute."

Jaemin frowns. "I don't know what those are," he replies, and then the other just shakes his head. "Well, the Nightmares-- I grow them myself. When a human dies, and if they deserve it, I stripe all the bad things this person's ever felt or thought from them, and shape it all into these. So that they can finally find peace in death."

He reaches out for a horse wandering close, and the creature presses its nose against Jaemin's palm softly. Up close, Jeno thinks, they're just average horses, except maybe bigger. He watches as Jaemin caresses the creature's cheek and make kissing sounds, shooing it away.

"Sometimes--" Jaemin continues, with a pained expression. Jeno always took him for somewhat of a cold guy, so it's weird seeing Jaemin showing emotions like this, so he looks away. "-- when a human dies, there's just too much bad things inside them. So much that when you strip it away, there's nothing else left. They have no purpose, not a fragment of soul, they don't even have a way to be reborn."

"Those are your Reapers," Jeno concludes, and Jaemin nods. There's a strange feeling on the pit of stomach, and he doesn't want to ask.

Fortunately, he doesn't need to. Jaemin continues:

"It's really sad dying with so much pain, Jeno. When you feel like you've accomplished nothing, like you are nothing, like you're pretty much dead already but somehow your body kept going on until it couldn't anymore. My Reapers were once very, very tormented humans. And you'd think-- you'd think that these humans would deserve another chance, that they should be reborn and start again, but..."

Jeno nods, looking at the Nightmares wondering in the fields. A very big one walks right past him, it's mane flicks him on the face. He flinches: "It doesn't work."

"No," Jaemin replies, in a soft tone. "I watched it over time. It just kept happening, over and over again, and when I asked Fate about it, he told me that it was just how it was supposed to be. And you may say I'm heartless, Jeno, but it hurts me. To have no power over it."

Jeno wants to say: _I don't believe it hurts you because you feel pity, I think it hurts you because you don't like being powerless._ But he takes a look at Jaemin's face and sees more emotion than he's ever saw in him before, so Jeno doesn't say anything.

"So when I meet a human like that, I take their souls myself," he continues. "I take and take and take everything from them until there's nothing left, and I mend them together the best I can. They may not be reborn but their second chance is to live here, with me, or in Mark's realm, like Renjun does."

He's never asked. When Renjun told him he was a Grim Reaper, it took some time for Jeno to understand that it wasn't a joke, but there was also nothing more to say – _"I'm a Grim Reaper, I collect the dead,"_ Renjun had said. _"I don't know why, or for how long I've been like that, but I serve Jaemin since the beginning of my everything."_ –, so Jeno didn't ask. And now he wants to know.

"Taking Renjun's soul was the hardest thing I've ever done," Jaemin shoves his hands on the pockets of his jacket, looking down at his feet. "Sometimes Mark tells me about certain humans, and he's told me about Renjun. I wanted to give him a second chance so badly, Jeno. But I couldn't. And I shouldn't have spoken about him like I did before. It was in..."

He pauses, frowning. Jeno frowns as well, and then asks: "The heat of the moment?"

Jaemin nods. He doesn't like being at loss of words, Jeno knows, because Mark's told him that before. "It was in the heat of the moment. So I made him a Reaper, one of the best I've ever had, and he's been the closest I get to a best friend since then."

Jeno thinks of all the times Renjun's come home cursing Jaemin to his fifth generation – Jeno doesn't know if gods can have kids, though, but it was fun –, and thinks that maybe they truly are best friends. It makes sense.

"Do they ever remember it?" he asks. "Isn't it sad to collect souls that might get a second chance when you can't?"

Jaemin chuckles. "No, of course not. I don't let them remember anything, for it is too painful. The more you know, the more human you feel, the more it hurts. And that is why--"

"That's why you didn't want Renjun to date me," Jeno concludes. His mouth feels dry. "Because you didn't want him hurting. Because he's your friend, and because I make--" he sighs, thinking of Renjun's words. "I make him human."

Jaemin purses his lips, and for the first time, he looks away from him. "Renjun is very dear to me. He's been with me for as long as I can remember. And even though I am very… Harsh sometimes, I don't ever want to see him hurting. You understand that, don't you?"

Jeno opens his mouth, but Jaemin raises a hand.

"You're not going to die today, Lee Jeno, or anytime soon," he says, and something inside Jeno stirs awake. Jaemin looks at him and smiles softly. "I thought I'd keep you here at the end of this day because, for me, it wouldn't be different from any other trial. Because, like Mark--" he rolls his eyes. "--enjoys saying, I don't owe shit to anyone, less alone a mortal like you. Your soul was supposed to be mine. But it is not, so I can't keep you."

Jeno senses a headache coming. "Don't tell me there's a higher god whose my soul belongs to. I can't keep up anymore."

Laughing, Jaemin shakes his head. "No, silly. Your soul isn't a god's. Your soul belongs up there," he points to the sky. "With the living, with Renjun. Because you gave him the second chance I couldn't give, and for that I'm thankful. But, mostly, because you, of all people, deserve to live your life to the fullest and-- and because a heart like yours can take worlds apart, Jeno, but chooses not to. It's not something you see every other day."

"Wow," Jeno nods. "That's the nicest thing someone ever said about me."

Jaemin motions vaguely. "Yeah, whatever," there he is. "I won't be the bad guy today."

"For once," Jeno points out, just to tease. And Jaemin laughs more.

"For once," he repeats. And then, offers his arm to him. "Let's go, Lee Jeno. I will break at least fifteen ancient rules and maybe engage on an actual fight with Yuta like that one time two hundred years ago, and I'm just _thrilled_."

"What, why?"

Jaemin smiles proudly. "Because I will speak on your behalf today."

 

* * *

 

For some reason, Renjun is there, and if Jeno's heart could beat, he's sure it would beat so loud that his lover would be able to hear it all the way from where he's sitting on the side of the amphitheater, alongside…

"Do you take records of how long you let Mark stay banished?" Jeno whispers, just to be a little shit, while waving. Renjun waves back to him with a big smile on his face, and Jeno feels warm. He turns to Jaemin and continues: "Like, I'm pretty sure banning him for, like, ten hours is a brand new record. You guys are _cute_."

"Shut up before I bite your heart off," Jaemin replies, hand gripping Jeno's arm with too much force, like always.

Taeil is the first to notice something's wrong. His sad eyes scan the way Jaemin stands before the thrones with him, dressed with his best leather jacket and ripped jeans, and rubs fingers on his temples.

"Is this a joke to you?" he asks, in a tone that Jeno's never heard him use before. "Do you think this is child play?"

"Yeah," Pestilence adds, but Jeno senses a bit of amusement in his tone. "Do you think you're big shit, Death? Do you really?"

He smiles: "Yes I do, my dear Pestilence," and then he turns to the rest of the Horsemen, gaze falling on Yuta, who's been watching them with a bored expression, picking on his painted nails. "I will speak on Jeno's behalf today, comrades."

"Of course you are," War replies, but he doesn't look half as annoyed as Jeno figured he'd be. His tone drags out lazily, like he's about to fall asleep. Jeno wonders if gods can get high, and now he suspects of Mark's "organic" cigarettes. "I'll take pity on you today, Death, for I am in a good mood. But then we'll have to discuss with our fists later."

Death nods, "Clearly," at the same time Pestilence screams: "I want to join!". Jeno fights back laughter.

There's movement on his left, and he turns around to see that Johnny's also joined the others on the seats by the side. Another man sits by his side, and he flashes a gummy smile to Jeno, who frowns, and Renjun mouths: "It's Love! The motherfucker!", and then he smiles back. He wonders if he can go talk to them, but Jaemin holds him in place. The trial is about to begin.

"Ladies, gentlemen and my non-binary friends," Pestilence announces cheekily. "AKA all of us but whatever. We are here on the last day of trials of human Lee Jeno, about to decide whether or not he is to die today," he motions to Jaemin. "Surprisingly, a fellow Horseman of ours is about to present cogent evidence, therefore He won't take part in the trial as a judge. I, therefore, call upon Time to assume his place as a judge."

Jeno's chin drops. He frowns at Jaemin, blinks dumbly at him. When he looks back at Jaemin's throne, a young man with a feline smile raises his eyebrows at him, waving excitedly.

"This will take hours," Jaemin groans, and Jeno whispers:

"Who the fuck is that?"

"I am Time, dear," the man replies, and Jeno swallows dry. "And I am usually very busy but I could never run away from a party like this," he turns slightly to the spectators on the side. "Baby, you're giving me a ride back home, right?"

"Sure!" Johnny replies, and Jeno has to sit down. As he moves, Jaemin conjures a chair for him, and he sighs.

"Let's do this quick," Yuta groans, and Jeno waits for Jaemin to start speaking, but instead, the other Horsemen and Time all get up from the thrones and walk up to them.

For a moment, he's terrified – seeing Yuta and Taeil upclose is not a pleasing experience–, but Jaemin takes one step forward and holds out his arms. The four deities then hold onto him, and Jeno grows more confused each second.

He waits for something to happen, – maybe they all will burst in flames, or Jeno himself will burst in flames, – but they all let go of Jaemin not even a heartbeat later.

"What happened?" Jeno asks.

Jaemin sighs, motioning vaguely. "I showed them everything I told you up there and some more. This mind of mine is very powerful, you see."

Jeno nods, and then the judges start going back to the thrones, but Time stays.

Shorter than Jeno first thought, he's also very different from what he pictured the embodiment of time to be. Smooth skin, with a smile all pearly whites and freshly dyed grey hair (or maybe it isn't hair dye), the only weird thing about him is the clock he carries on a necklace. When Jeno takes a look, it doesn't even have a short or a long hand. Just roman numbers, in gold, and he makes a face. Deities are so weird!

Time notices him looking and leans closer, smiling. He reaches out with a hand and taps the underside of Jeno's chin with a finger. He feels like a child. Maybe everyone is a child to Time.

"I like you," he says, and Jeno presumes he must feel flattered, because Jaemin groans. "You can call me Ten."

"Like the number?" Jeno asks dumbly, and Time nods excitedly. Then, he turns back and walks to Jaemin's throne. Johnny's laughter echoes in the amphitheatre.

A chair is summoned by his side, and Jaemin sits back with a sigh. He looks tired, as if whatever they did tired him out more than he imagined, and Jeno is about to ask whether he's alright or not when Yuta speaks:

"We declare Lee Jeno innocent of his crime," crime! Living, that is! Jeno sighs. "He shall live, as long as his destiny allows him to, and he shall be with his little weird boyfriend too. Do whatever, go bonkers. Can please I go now?"

Jeno can't even be happy about it, because Taeil speaks: "But there is something unclear. We still don't know why or how Jeno's fate changed."

He turns to Renjun with widen eyes, and Renjun pouts at him, nudging Johnny on the side. Fate himself shrugs at him. And then Jeno starts thinking that it might be many years since he was part of debate club in high school, but if he comes up with a decent argument, maybe he can just make the deities let him go without caring about how his fate changed – because, honestly, what's in the past is in the past, people, and…

"Hold on!" Renjun speaks, and Jeno entire body reacts to it, turning to him again. He watches as Renjun jumps from his seat, grabs Mark by the arm and drags him to the center of the amphitheatre. "I have a theory, and I might be wrong, but hear me out--"

"You're on probation!" Jaemin exclaims, scandalized. "Go back to your seat!"

"No!" Renjun replies firmly, and he pushes Mark in his direction. They stand awkwardly side by side. Then Jeno gets up from his chair and walks to him, and Renjun grabs his hand tightly before continuing. "I know why Jeno's fate changed. And it was because of me, but not exactly."

"What?" he asks, at the same time that Mark groans "We've been through this, man," but Renjun pays them no mind:

"I've been thinking about this," he continues. "But it's been so long that I couldn't remember properly of that day, but now I do remember. And clearly. If you allow me, I'll speak."

Yuta rubs a hand against his face, and he's probably about to complain about being late to a date, but Time speaks up first: "Go on, darling."

Squeezing his hand a little, Renjun takes a deep breath. "When Death assigns me to a soul, he sends me the information through text – the information being a picture of the soul I am to collect, their name and where exactly to find them –, usually a couple hours before the time of death. But that day, Death didn't send me shit until _after_ I found Jeno by accident. So I didn't know he was my soul when he talked to me, and his death was delayed because of that."

Jeno looks at Jaemin, and his face is stone cold.

"Death, this is unacceptable," Famine speaks. "You kept this very crucial information from us, and all after what you showed us. How could you do that?"

"I didn't remember," Jaemin replies, sounding offended. His knuckles are white from how tight he's holding onto Mark's arm, but he doesn't look that bothered. "How could I possibly remember such _trivial_ thing like me sending a text a few hours later--"

Yuta flashes them an amused smile, and he leans forward on his seat, resting elbows on his knees. Chenle mirrors the position, very pleased. "Ah, but it is very hard for a deity to forget such an important task," Pestilence says. "You never forget anything, Death. How did you forget _that_?"

Jaemin sighs deeply, rolling his eyes:

"Listen, if I recall well, I was busy doing things."

Taeil frowns, arms crossed. "What things?"

Jeno's chin drops when Jaemin smiles shamefully, and his hand comes up to tap Mark's chest slightly, and the other Horsemen groan so loudly that the ground shakes. Time, although, lets out a loud laugh, clapping amusedly.

"This is the best day of my life," he announces. "Death, sweetie, you really dug your own grave with this one. How you feel about that?"

"I'll tell you something," Jaemin replies, in a low tone. He makes a dramatic pause, in which no one dares to breathe, and then says: "I don't owe shit to _any_ of you, fuckers."

He raises his hands and claps. And when he does, the entire world falls into darkness.

 

* * *

 

Jeno wakes up in an empty McDonald's, and this time he doesn't throw up.

By his side, Renjun clutches his shirt tightly, pale in the face, and he lets out a _fuck, yes_ as he realizes they're in the living world. He lets go of Jeno's shirt to hug him tightly, and Jeno sighs happily in his embrace, then they both let go.

On the other side of the booth, Jaemin sits with his arms crossed, red in the face, and an equally embarrassed Mark sits by his side. Jeno smiles teasingly at them, knocking his knees against his, and Mark shakes his head.

"Not a word," he says. "Actually, maybe you can thank me, Jeno."

"Oh, _I_ am very thankful that my boyfriend is alive," Renjun replies on his behalf. "And you can buy our silence with burgers, fries and milkshakes, by the way. Jeno will have a double chocolate."

Jeno smiles. "And cheddar fries."

Rolling his eyes, Mark snaps his fingers, and food appears on their table. Renjun smiles and Jeno leans into his side, and reaches out for a sandwich.

After a very long time – filled with them eating, the flush of Mark's face never leaving his skin, and Jaemin looking like he's always about to say something but then thinks about it twice –, the latter finally speaks up:

"Of all the times I was reborn to go after this asshole," he points to Mark, who rolls his eyes, with his chin. "I never had so much trouble. I have never been so humiliated in front of the high deities, of _Time_ like that. And all because of," he motions to Jeno with both hands, hands in claws like he wants to rip his head off his body. Renjun slaps his hands away, and Jaemin sighs. "Because of a mortal like you, Lee Jeno. You're lucky I consider you my friend."

"Oh, so we're on the friend base now," Jeno replies over his fries. "I guess this qualifies as a double date, then?"

Mark and Jaemin reply at the same time, pointing at each other. "I'm not talking to him."

Renjun laughs so hard he chokes. Jeno slaps his back slightly, giggling himself.

 

* * *

 

Exactly a year and a half later, Jeno lets his bag fall to the feet of the desk in their shared room, dropping to the floor to rub at Seol's belly. Renjun raises his head from where he's lying on the bed, smiles softly at him and then lets his head fall back to the pillow. "How did it go?"

"It was easier than I expected," Jeno replies, getting up. He changes his jeans for a pair of sweatpants and gets rid of his shirt, then proceeds to slide under the covers as well. They shouldn't be napping so early in the day, but it happens. "I just had to sign some things and talk to some professors. Classes start in two weeks."

Renjun's feet are warm against his legs, and Jeno leans in to kiss him on the mouth. When he's done, the other speaks: "My future historian," he smiles cheekily. "That's hot."

"I plan on making Mark my study buddy, and I'll be the best in class," Jeno replies, although he doesn't know how exactly he's going to do that. Mark would just tell him to study hard on his own, that he'll achieve his dreams no matter what or something. "I'll graduate with honors, you'll see."

Renjun rolls his eyes, cuddling up to him.

"You'll do that without anyone's help," he says, pressing his nose against Jeno's cheek and a kiss to his jaw, and Jeno releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. His hands find Renjun's back under the covers, pulling him closer. It's not every day that they can be like this, and he sighs happily when the other's fingers card through the hairs on the back of his neck.

"Jeno," he says. "Lee Jeno."

"Hm?"

Renjun leans back a little, and Jeno gets a little cross-eyed looking at him so closely, but he says it either way: "Marry me."

Something inside Jeno does a somersault. It took him months to get used to feeling alive again, afraid that perhaps he'd always feel like something was missing, like he left a part of him back in the House of Death. And thinking about it now, it feels like a weird dream – well, sometimes, because whenever Jeno starts thinking that he imagined everything, Chenle crashes into their apartment for the night to play video games, or he stumbles into Ten and Johnny on the streets by accident (except that Jeno doesn't believe in accidents anymore). Jaemin and Mark… He hasn't heard from them in a while, but they're surely fine. Maybe travelling. Or fighting, and then getting back together, and fighting again. Jeno does not worry anymore. All he worries about is this:

"Answer me," Renjun pouts, flicking him on the nose. There's a red tint to his cheeks, brown eyes piercing his soul, full of life. There once was a time in which his eyes were pitch black, like void. Not anymore.

And now he relishes in this, in what Renjun makes him feel when he looks at him. Jeno presses his entire body against his and whispers back: "I will definitely marry you!", before kissing him again. And Renjun giggles against his mouth like he's suddenly twenty and falling in love again, and kissing him feels just like it has always done. Like History begins and ends in Renjun's lips, and maybe it really does.

It makes Jeno wants to scream. He presses his thumbs against the other's cheeks, pushing him away slightly, and buries his face on Renjun's pillow. He screams, and there's laughter on his ears. He lets his fiancé pull him back, hands warm against his shoulder blades and lips on him again and again and again.

 

* * *

 

jeno (15:15)

hi i know it's random but

u might not even see this

but renjun and i are getting married

 

mark lee (15:16)

i am Going to your house

leave the door open

 

jeno (15:16)

wtf no????

we're busy

 

jeno (15:17)

like not right now but we will be

soon

.

 

mark lee (15:18)

fine whatever fuck you - jaemin

OK BUT I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO

me too, just to be clear - jaemin

 

jeno (15:19)

thank you guys TT___TT

i wasn't expecting u to reply so soon

 

mark lee (15:20)

yeah we've been "busy" as well - jaemin

^ traveling

and fucking - jaemin

^ mostly traveling :^)

eh.... - jaemin

 

jeno (15:20)

TMI!!!!!!!! TMI FOREVER

 

mark lee (15:21)

shut up - jaemin

oh CAN I PLAN THE WEDDING i have so many ideas - jaemin

 

jeno (15:22)

…

 

mark lee (15:23)

for your knowledge, i planned cleopatra's wedding - jaemin

 

mark lee (15:23)

i was there and he absolutely did not

^ WELL I COULD HAVE??? HAD SHE ASKED NICELY - jaemin

 

jeno (15:24)

pls chill nothing is decided yet

except…

 

mark lee (15:25)

what?

 

jeno (15:25)

will u guys Legitimize it

bc ur…

life and death and shit

 

mark lee (15:26)

i am not "shit" - jaemin

^ shut up baby

yes absolutely dude wtf

oh jeno he just started crying - jaemin

 

jeno (15:27)

ngl me too

mark TT___TT

 

mark lee (15:28)

u are my bro i am SO honoured

… i'm honoured, too. thank you. - jaemin

 

jeno (15:28)

no, thank YOU guys

it means a lot

 

mark lee (15:29)

jaemin went to shower

i'm SO honoured, jeno

it'll be a pleasure

 

jeno (15:30)

:-))

come back soon mark lee

we gotta catch up

 

mark lee (15:31)

i willlllll

i think we're leaving chile next week

 

jeno (15:32)

im KIDDING have fun

give me honeymoon ideas

 

mark lee (15:33)

i'm still crying can u not

lgfdkjdljkf

gotta go now, CONGRATS ok <3

 

jeno (15:34)

^____^

 

* * *

 

"Who are you talking to," Renjun groans, blindly reaching out to smack the phone off Jeno's hands. It lands on his chin instead, and then he just caresses his face briefly before retreating the hand.

Jeno chuckles, putting the phone on the bedside table. "I asked them the thing. They said yes."

Renjun furrows his brows, cheek pressed to the pillow, still looking sleepy. "You're so eager," he says, mid-yawn. "Jaemin won't stop talking about it now. You just boosted his ego to the Moon, Jeno. And Mark will just-- I don't know, cry forever."

He smiles. "I know," Jeno replies. "And it's way past over lunch now."

Rolling his eyes, Renjun turns on his back, rubbing the sleep of his face with a hand. Jeno reaches out to tickle him on the ribs and he yelps. "You're so annoying," he says, but there's no bite to his words.

"What happened to--" Jeno clears his throat. "-- _I'll walk through Hell for you, Jeno?_ "

There's no bite to his words either. He knows Renjun's already did. Still, when Renjun sighs, hand coming up pull on his arm, he presses closer.

"It's still true," he replies, genuinely, brushing Jeno's messy hair off his face. "You have actually no idea how much I love you."

"Don't worry. We have the rest of our lives for you to tell me all about it."

He laughs. "That's right, we do.

Jeno smiles happily, pressing his nose against his pulse point. The other sighs, hand running up and down his back lazily. And Jeno's never felt so alive, here in Renjun's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, that's it! if you've come all the way here, i hope you liked this.
> 
> (ALSO, if you like this universe, consider subscribing to the series!! There Is More To Come if everything works out. yayyyy!!) 
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/morktwt)   
>  [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/nctqueer)


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